Oblivion
by Simplyfx
Summary: Katsuki and Izuku are now pro heroes and best friends, but Katsuki has a secret. He is in love with Deku, but the latter is oblivious to his feelings so Katsuki decides to bottle everything up as he sees Deku jumping from relationship to relationship. Now if only Deku looked his way.
1. Chapter 1

Bakugou Katsuki was, for lack of better words, fucked. Utterly so, and the cause of all of it was his childhood friend Midoriya Izuku.

Lately, he had been getting this weird feeling gnawing at the pit of his stomach each and every time he looked in the general direction of the green haired nerd. "Butterflies" Kirishima had explained, "They form because of a chemical reaction that supposedly ignites when someone is falling in love."

Katsuki scoffed at reminiscing Kirishima's words, but shitty hair was right. He was in love, desperately in love with Deku, and he had been for the past decade now. Katsuki was frustrated, after all he was a healthy 26 year old male harbouring, not only romantic feelings towards his childhood friend, but even sexual, which was very bad. Kirishima had told him many times that pining for someone for so long was unhealthy and pointless, but Katsuki just couldn't wrap it in his mind to forget about the nerd and start seeing other people. Not like Katsuki was a virgin, he had had, of course, his share of experience, sexually speaking, but his head had never been into dating. He deemed it unfair to himself and his potential partners to start dating when he knew his heart belonged to Deku. Far too many times Kirishima had told him to spill the beans because what was the worst that could have happened if Midoriya said no? At least Katsuki could have finally rearrange his life and get rid of this futile feeling that was destroying him from the inside, shattering his soul. Kirishima had a point but Katsuki was scared, scared to the core of Deku's reaction and subsequent rejection. If things went wrong, Katsuki didn't even wanna imagine the disaster a confession would entail, because he knew they were only friends, or at least this was what Deku considered him. On top of that, they were the wonder duo, the symbol of hope and victory who worked together as pro heroes in the same agency. Pros and cons, they had been together since their childhood years and they had both gone through drastic changes during their relationship, but actually confessing his feelings wasn't an option Katsuki had ever considered, he'd rather ignite explosions to his own face than do that and ruin their friendship. Nonetheless Deku was the bane of his existence, because that nerd was oblivious to Katsuki's feelings, which was why he had showed up to his apartment at 2 in the morning and was now sitting on Katsuki's bed whining about how his last date had gone terribly wrong. And really, this was another fact that bothered Katsuki, because apparently Deku had turned him into his love counsellor. But Katsuki didn't mind, because every time Deku called him and then showed up in his apartment meant another failed date, and Katsuki couldn't help the smile forming in his lips. Of course guilt grasped at him for feeling this way whilst Deku was visibly distressed about his break ups and failed dates, but Katsuki couldn't help it. He was jealous, and seeing Deku with someone else was agonizing.

"Fuck Deku! Seriously it's 2 am. Couldn't this wait until tomorrow morning?" Katsuki says loudly, throwing his hands up in the air for emphasis. He sits on the bed next to Deku and he sees him smile that knowing smirk of his, the one Katsuki had always found annoying and adorable at the same time. Katsuki knew that meant trouble for his fragile heart.

"Technically, Kacchan," Izuku says, pointing a finger in his direction, "it's already morning."

"Fucker." Katsuki grunts at his smartass reply as he plops on the bed with his back and crosses his arms behind his head. Izuku mimics his movements and slouches back next to him.

"C'mon Kacchan! You're the only one I can talk to about this. You're my best friend. The one that knows me best." Izuku sighs, momentarily closing his eyes.

There's something stirring inside Katsuki's chest, the nerd always ended up saying crap like that. -You're my best friend- and -you know me best- were a remarkable occurrence in Katsuki's life. And it was not like Katsuki withheld any hope about those words having any hidden meaning because he knew Deku said them out of pure innocence. Seriously though, what was he supposed to think when Deku said to him he was the one that knew him best? Katsuki couldn't help but hope.

"So what was it this time?" Katsuki asks wary, completely ignoring the bubbling in his stomach. He had become good at acting through the years he had had this so called crush on the nerd. "Was he not handsome enough? Crooked teeth? Didn't like your All Might figurines collection?"

"Kacchan!" Izuku pouts, cutely so, Katsuki notices. Hell, he would always notice that little cute pout of his. "This is serious." Izuku whines, turning towards Katsuki and resting his head on his hand.

"I bet it is." Katsuki says sarcastically, rolling his eyes. He had seriously lost count of how many times he had been through this scenario.

"You don't understand, Kacchan!" Izuku cries out, jabbing a finger into Katsuki's ribs, making him yelp lightly at the contact. "I thought he was the one."

Katsuki rolls his eyes again. "You say that every time, Deku." Katsuki says, a hint of exasperation lining his voice. "I think the problem is that your are looking for someone that doesn't fucking exist."

"Where's my prince charming, Kacchan?" Izuku wails, biting his bottom lip and Katsuki is reminded again how dangerous having Deku in his room so late at night was. Because the fucker just had to do the most banal things to turn him on. Katsuki was disgusted at himself for his lecherous thoughts sometimes.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about." Katsuki sneers, sitting back up on the bed and running a hand through his hair in defeat. "Prince fucking charming doesn't exist, Deku."

Izuku immediately shoots up as well, his right arm brushing briefly with Katsuki's, which sends a spark through Katsuki's heart. He puts his hands on his knees, eyes casting downwards as a sad expression creeps on his face. "But Kacchan! All I want is someone who loves me for who I am, and I want to love them just as much."

"I'm here." Katsuki wants to say but he doesn't, he keeps listening to the nerd instead, to his rambling and mumbling as he goes on and on. Even in the dim light of the room and even if Deku's face is partially hidden because of it, Katsuki can still see his freckles getting dusted with red as he speaks about his love aspirations. "I want to feel that spark that gives you butterflies on your stomach, the anticipation, the nervousness that kills you before you see the person you like." Izuku says excitedly.

Damn! Katsuki knew all of it, if what he was feeling right now was any hint at all. It didn't help that Deku had decided to turn towards him while saying so, looking him in the eyes so fiercely that his bright green eyes were glinting with eerie intensity. It was so captivating really, everything about Deku was, it had always been. His hands that were still on his knees are now closed into tight fists, his mouth closed into a tight line and his body shifted towards him, dangerously close, so close that even though they were not touching Katsuki felt the need to retreat slightly.

"That's not something that happens easily, Deku." Katsuki says, averting his gaze. "The fact that you jump from relationship to relationship might be the issue. If you just gave it fucking time and looked around carefully, then maybe you could find someone decent." Katsuki cringes at himself as soon as the words leaves his mouth, because he knew he was practically suggesting Deku to look at him. But no, the nerd was oblivious.

There's an uncomfortable silence stirring between them then, Deku is still looking at him like he was just pondering something, eyes so intent on Katsuki that the latter had to wonder if the nerd had caught on with what his words really meant.

"You've never been in love Kacchan, have you?" Izuku asks then, interrupting the silence. Katsuki has to swallow a lump down his throat at that, his eyes averting back to Deku's face in utter surprise. "I'm in love with you." Katsuki wants to scream, but he keeps it all inside because bottling up his emotions was what he was best at. Katsuki doesn't reply but refuses to leave Deku's gaze.

"You know Kacchan," Izuku sighs when he receives no reply, "I've always thought it was weird that you have never had a serious relationship up until now."

Katsuki grits his teeth, "Because it wouldn't be right to date someone else when my heart is with you, shitty nerd." But Katsuki doesn't say it. He can't bring himself to say it. When in all fact, all he wants to do is just stretching his arm and touch Deku. He was so close, yet so distant.

"I mean," Izuku continues, his eyes shine with renewed light, "you could literally have anyone you want, Kacchan! You're so handsome after all!" The words rolls off Izuku's so easily and casually, but of course they have the opposite effect on Katsuki. Those words almost light up a dim fire of hope onto his heart. "Yeah, but I can't have you." Katsuki thinks, his mind wrapping around the fact that Deku thought he was handsome. The nerd should have stopped complimenting him like that, unless he wanted to get jumped. Katsuki does not jump him of course, but seriously, it didn't help when Deku, all of a sudden, rests his head on his shoulder, making Katsuki's entire body stiffen.

"Maybe is that explosive personality of yours that scares people away." Izuku chuckles slightly, Katsuki doesn't dare to move. He feels like his right arm was scorching because of Deku's touch and he doesn't give a damn about the heartfelt insult. How he wished for that moment to never end. But it does end, Izuku instantly stands up, hands on his hips, looking pointedly at Katsuki. "You better introduce me to your future girlfriend when the time comes, Kacchan!" Izuku says, bending towards Katsuki slightly, voice uptight and full of reproach.

Katsuki curses inwardly, this was another of his problems. Deku believing he was into girls when he was not was another major obstacle getting in his way to confess his feelings. If he'd only be able to use that aforementioned explosive personality of his to woo the nerd maybe...

"Yeah nerd, count on it." Katsuki says instead, his inner self screaming and punching as he looks at Deku's content face at his reply.

"Good." Izuku exhales, dropping his hands at his side. "Now Kacchan, can I borrow something to sleep in?" He says with the biggest smile on his face. "It's late and it's a Friday so I don't want to go back to my apartment knowing I'll have to wake up in," he spares a look at the alarm clock in Katsuki's nightstand, "...5 hours. We can go to work together tomorrow." He finishes, looking at his friend pointedly.

"This fucker." Katsuki thinks. There was no way he could survive this night, could he? But Katsuki acquiesces anyway, if he could stay with the nerd just like this then he didn't mind.

He gets up from the bed and rummages in his wardrobe for old clothes to give to the nerd. It takes out an old black t-shirt with the drawing of a skull in it and a pair of plain white boxers and he tosses them to Deku.

"I'll take the couch." Katsuki says, pocketing his hands onto the pants of his pyjamas as he is about to exit his room. There was no way Katsuki could sleep in the same bed as Deku, because lately that had become a hard task for him.

"Wait Kacchan!" Izuku shouts and Katsuki turns slightly to see Deku's hand pulling on his shirt sleeve. His eyes travel from Deku's hand to his face and Katsuki bites the inside of his cheeks.

"What's the point?" Izuku asks with the purest of expressions, "Let's sleep together, Kacchan! We always do!" There's a hint of worry in his eyes, Katsuki notices it, but his brain is all mushy about the words -sleep together- and their real meaning right now. If only Katsuki stopped fantasising like that. Kirishima was damn right, this was gonna ruin his damn mind. Plus Deku didn't deserve this, the nerd really thought of them as just friends, after all.

"Fine." Katsuki grunts defeated as he makes his way to the bed and under the covers, leaning on his right side and giving his back to Deku. He hears the nerd shuffling with his clothes as he gets changed but Katsuki doesn't turn around. The mattress sinks under Deku's weight soon after, and he feels Deku's hand wrapping lightly around his waist.

"Good night, Kacchan!" Deku whispers as he quickly drifts into sleep.

Katsuki is unable to move. The side of his waist where Deku's hands rests upon is burning feverishly and Katsuki bits his tongue because of it. This was another normal occurrence for them, or at least it was for Deku. For him it only was a demonstration of friendship.

Fuck! This was really going to be a long night. Katsuki thinks, but at least he knew that right at this moment, Deku was by his side. Nothing could have taken this moment away from him, and Katsuki was content with it.


	2. Chapter 2

Katsuki could barely sleep. He kept waking up at any subtle movement Deku made throughout the night, and at one point, Katsuki had turned towards him to admire him in his sleep. It was enthralling really, staring at the fall and rise of his chest as Deku slept soundlessly, the freckles on his cheeks that moved along with each breath he took, the adorable quirk of his slightly parted lips and his long fluttering eyelashes. These were all things that Katsuki didn't want to share with absolutely anyone. They were his and his only. He could stare at Deku forever and never get sick of it. But if he thought about someone else taking his place, about another guy laying next to Deku instead of him, just the sole thought made Katsuki's heart ache. He knew he had no right to feel this way; cowards like him that weren't able to confess their true feelings were not entitled to anything, yet he wanted Deku just for himself. He felt like one of those primitive men with one track mind that didn't want any of his possessions being touched by anyone else. But Katsuki was better than this, he would never degrade Deku to a mere possession, because for him he was so much more than that. Sometimes Katsuki couldn't help the overwhelming feeling of desire, possession and longing that surged somewhere deep within his soul whenever he was with Izuku, and that was truly why he had never let himself out in the open. When he came to Deku, Katsuki was scared of his own feelings.

Then there was the past, a past filled with years of bullying and misunderstandings, and even though they both had come to a defining term about it more than a decade ago, Katsuki wondered if he had any right to love Deku, let alone thinking about the possibility of being loved by him. He knew Deku had forgave him, but the root of those constant and churning thoughts lied on Katsuki's conscience itself, because, up until now, Katsuki was the one that had yet to forgive himself.

But Deku's obliviousness to his feelings was a whole other story. If he was oblivious, then what were the chances of him knowing how he really felt? If Katsuki thought about it with a lucid mind it was like Deku would never had the option to look at him under a romantic light, to choose him, because Katsuki himself was keeping that very option hidden from Izuku.

Katsuki sighs, biting his lip as he props his head on his hand and keeps staring. Deku was a heavy sleeper, Katsuki had learnt this through all of their several sleepovers.

"Shitty nerd!" Katsuki mutters with a fondness in his tone, looking at him sleeping peacefully, uncaring of Katsuki's own worries.

What if a villain showed up out of nowhere and took him by surprise? Heroes shouldn't let their guard down so much, they should be ready to sprint into action at any given moment, and not looking so vulnerable and defenseless as Deku did.

Suddenly Izuku's words resonates in Katsuki's mind;

"It's because Kacchan is with me!"

Izuku had said when Katsuki had made him notice how much of a heavy sleeper he was, "If I'm with Kacchan then I can sleep freely, because I know you'll always have my back."

Katsuki can't help the smile forming on his lips at the fond memory. Most of the time, Deku could surprise him and make his heart flutter with the simplest words, and the fact that he was needed by Izuku was what truly made Katsuki hope for a different outcome for them, and not just the label of 'friends' to which he had stuck with for so long.

"Fuck friendship." Katsuki thought bitterly.

He was doomed because of it.

He sees Izuku moving subtly on his sleep then, body sprawled across the bed and face dangerously close to his. For a second, Katsuki thinks he has woke him up and almost jumps out of his skin before realizing Deku is still asleep.

Enraptured by the moment, Katsuki brings a hand on Izuku's face, a calloused thumb stroking gently on one of his freckled cheeks. Izuku's skin is soft at the touch, and as Katsuki's eyes fall further down his face, he wonders if those cherry plump lips feel the same. He had never kissed Deku before, but the urge to know and the desire to taste him is so huge right at that moment, that Katsuki is not able to stop himself. Slowly he inches closer, the sound of a far away siren alarm is covered by Katsuki's own heart beating loudly in his ears. He had waited for so long that nothing can distract him from finally savouring this moment. And then Katsuki kisses him. It's brief, just a brush of lips, chaste and pure, but it's all Katsuki asks for. It will be his little secret, a secret that he will always keep concealed into the most hidden part of his heart. Deku will never ever know.

"Good night Izuku!" Katsuki whispers on his lips. Deku's real name feels foreign on his tongue, but Katsuki is at peace, and just like that he finally falls asleep.

He wakes up to the sound of shuffling water coming from the bathroom, soon realizing Deku isn't in the other side of the bed. He grunts softly, willing himself to rub the sleep away from his eyes when he sees Izuku coming out of the shower with just a towel wrapped around his hips. The sight nearly gives him a heart attack, and suddenly Katsuki is wide awake; his mind goes back to the night prior, to the stolen kiss. His face slightly reddens and his stomach twirls, sending pulsing vibrations straight to his groin. He had seen Deku half naked many times before, but strangely now the sole sight of him dripping wet after a shower and with only one piece of clothing around those sturdy and muscly hips was affecting his dick greatly.

"What the fuck nerd?" Katsuki says with no bite in his tone, "You gonna catch a cold like that, and when the fuck did I give you permission to use my shower?"

"Kacchan, get up! We're gonna be late for work!" Izuku says with accusatory eyes, completely ignoring his question as he promptly sits on the bed, facing him. "Did you forget about the conference we have to attend to this afternoon?"

Katsuki is still staring at him in awe, mouth open but no sound coming out, when suddenly everything clicks and Katsuki remembers that he and Deku, as well as other pro heroes, had been invited to this conference about quirk analysis after work. Katsuki would rather skip these so called social events, as Katsuki, unlike Deku, seemed to never fit into those. But the conference was held, nonetheless, by his all time hero All Might, and even if it had been a long time since the pro hero had retired, Katsuki didn't want to miss such occasion.

"Kacchan!?" Deku calls him again and Katsuki snaps out of his reverie, realizing Deku is in front of him, in the bed, on all fours and still half naked. Katsuki's eyes widen in stupor, eyes falling into Izuku's full figure. The nerd didn't seem to know what personal space was. "Are you ok? What are you thinking?" Deku says, expression worried, droplets of water drips down his hair and straight into Katsuki's crotch. Katsuki licks his lips as he lets his eyes peruse all over Izuku's body.

"I was thinking to fuck you senseless into the mattress." Katsuki blurts out before he can stop himself.

There's a mischievous glint dancing through Izuku's eyes, and Katsuki's heart stops.

The next thing he knows is that Deku is straddling his hips, arms tight around his neck as he pushes him back onto the mattress. He starts to nip at his neck gently, gracing his lips at Katsuki's earlobe. "I never thought you'd ever say that, Kacchan!"

The words send a bolt of electricity, which could rival Kaminari Denki's one, straight into his dick, and Katsuki immediately turns their positions, pinning Deku hard against the mattress. Deku moans at the impact but Katsuki swallows and tongues away his moans by crashing his lips hard and wet against his. Strong legs wrap around Katsuki's waist as Deku pushes against him to feel Katsuki fully. Katsuki's hands clutch desperately into green hair whilst Deku's fist into the back of Katsuki's shirt, almost ripping it apart. Through the towel and his own pyjamas, Katsuki can feel Deku's hard cock against his own.

"Fuck Deku... You feel... Fuck!" Katsuki breaths out throaty and low as he grinds possessively against Deku's still wet body. He feels Deku sneak his hand into his pyjamas and take hold of his hard, pulsing dick and Katsuki rolls his eyes in pleasure at the contact. It had been a damn long time since he had been manhandled so good. Katsuki's hands reach under Deku's ass then, and with a deep and possessive growl he hoists him up and spreads his ass cheeks apart, eliciting another moan from Deku.

"I want to fuck you so bad, Deku!"

"Please fuck me, Kacchan. Oh god. I need you!" Deku begs desperate, his cock twitching and his hole leaking. And with just that, Katsuki pulls his pyjamas pants down to his tights and positions his cock at Deku's entrance ready to fuck it while getting engulfed by those inviting, clamped walls. He buries the tip slightly, wincing at the sensation of the welcoming, searing heat. He takes a deep breath and-

"Kacchan?" Izuku's expression is pinched into one of utter worry. "Did you stroke out or something?"

Katsuki snaps out of his fantasy, and when reality slaps him hard in the face he grits his teeth and furrows his brows. Deku is in front of him but fully dressed now. Katsuki's cock was almost disappointed.

"Uh?" Is the only coherent response that Katsuki can give.

"Don't uh me, Kacchan! Are you not feeling well, after all?"

"N-no." Katsuki hastily replies as a way of reassurance. Deku stands with his arms crossed at the end of the bed, looking rather pensive. "I'm good nerd. I was thinking about the conference."

"Ok." Izuku sighs in relief, "But we're gonna be late if you don't hurry."

Katsuki nods, immediately jumping out of the bed and running to the bathroom, all the time being extra careful to hide his hard on from Izuku who's still looking at him in suspicion.

"I'll be quick." He shouts, closing the bathroom door behind himself and sliding down against it soon after. He brings his hands on his face, fully overwhelmed with shame. This was so mortifying. Letting his fantasies wild like that in front of Deku was really becoming a cause of concern. Katsuki was turning into a kind of animal, no doubt about that. But how could the nerd be so dense? Was he really that good at hiding his own feelings? Or maybe the nerd just pretended he didn't know anything because he felt pity towards him?

"Fuck!" Katsuki growls; he knew Deku wasn't like that. He quickly disregards his thoughts and hurries to get ready. He had to talk to someone about this, about these feelings that were eating him alive and consume him. He just hoped to catch on with Kirishima later because the need to spill out his bottled up frustration was huge.

Thirty minutes later, Katsuki is glad he makes it out alive of his apartment, but up to this point, he was truly not sure for how long he could keep it in his pants. Izuku had kept giving him weird looks all the way to work, occasionally asking him if he was ok, but Katsuki had simply shrugged and said everything was alright. This was what made Katsuki feel even more guilty. The nerd seemed so genuinely worried for him, he really didn't deserve his lewd thoughts.

The morning goes relatively good, Izuku had a meeting so they parted ways with the promise to meet at lunch time. By the time noon rolls around though, Deku texts him, warning him he couldn't make it. Katsuki was glad for it because he really needed to spend some time away from him and recollect himself. He also wanted to talk with shitty hair, who luckily worked in the same agency with him and Deku, so Katsuki is glad when he walks into the cafeteria and sees him sit at a table slurping on some looking delicious ramen.

"Hey Kirishima!" Katsuki says as a way of greeting, turning Kirishima's attention away from his food and to Katsuki's himself.

Kirishima watches him curiously as Katsuki sits besides him with nothing but a cup of black coffee.

"Dude! Is that your lunch?" Kirishima asks, eyebrows crinkling together.

"Not hungry!" Katsuki replies, taking a sip of his coffee and wincing slightly at the bitter taste. Kirishima pins him with a stare as he finishes his ramen bowl and sets it aside.

"Don't tell me!" Kirishima says, raising his hands up in the air as he takes in the view of Katsuki's clearly distressed expression, "It's Midoriya again." Katsuki jars at the comment but, nonetheless, he's glad that Kirishima brings up the topic without him mentioning it first. He didn't really know how to do that himself.

"Wow!" Kirishima says with a stupefied expression after listening to Katsuki's rumbling about Midoriya. Which lately seemed a normal occurrence, anyway. "Dial it back a bit. So you're saying you two slept together and Midoriya hugged you while doing so? And he even told you you're handsome?"

Katsuki sends him a nasty glare, heat rapidly rising on his cheeks, "Keep it down, shitty hair!" He says, looking around the cafeteria, wary someone had heard his friend, "And it's not sleep together," he growls, "don't fucking use that sentence inappropriately.

"Whatever man. You got what I meant." Kirishima says with a grin, crossing his arms behind his head. "But C'mon dude! From the gist of things seems like Midoriya is into you too."

Katsuki's eyes, even if briefly, light up at Kirishima's statement. "That's...," Katsuki swallows, "I don't think that's the case."

"What? Are you putting yourself down again? How is it that when it comes to Midoriya you're so doubtful? This is not like you. Midoriya is a nice guy. I don't think he'll ever do anything shitty even if you tell him your feelings." Kirishima puts his arms back down on the table, sighing as he continues. "Honestly, I don't think Midoriya will say no. You two are like an item already. Plus I told you man! If you keep this up it's gonna ruin your mental and physical health. You two are painful to watch. Just bang him already, geez."

Katsuki jolts in his seat, whipping his head around so fast that he almost knocks the chair over. "Fuck you Kirishima!" Katsuki sneers, "I told you to keep it down!

"If you wanna fuck someone then move it and ask Midoriya already." Kirishima says in exasperation, lying comfortably back on his chair. Katsuki holds back another growl but he doesn't spare his friend from his evil, irritated glare. Kirishima is unimpressed, however. "And make sure to spell it out loud and clear, because we all know how dense Midoriya is." He says, waving a hand in front of his face.

He stares at Katsuki pointedly for a while, noticing how his brows crease together in thought, and Kirishima's shoulders sag, "Seriously dude just confess already."

"Confess to who?" Comes a voice from behind them that Katsuki knows too well. He slowly turns around to see Deku standing behind them with a taut expression on his face and a tray of food in his hands. Suddenly Katsuki feels like all the air in his lungs had been sucked out by a professional vacuum cleaner, and all he can do is staring at him in pure, sheer horror.

"Deku?" Katsuki barely regains his breathing, "Since when you're there?"

"Been here for a while." Izuku says. He's wearing an unreadable expression and Katsuki has to wonder how much of their conversation he had listened to.

"Oh Midoriya!" Kirishima beams, contrasting comically with Katsuki's inner turmoil, which escalates quickly into a chant of 'kill kill kill' when he hears Kirishima's next words. "Actually," Kirishima cheers unabashed, looking utterly unapologetic, "Bakugou was telling me he wants to confess his feelings to the love of his life."

Katsuki's heart stops as the words sink in and watches Izuku's features changing into something that Katsuki reads as mild shock before they turn into something different. And for a moment there, he swears he can see disappointment all over Deku's face.

"Oh," Izuku says, lips parted in surprise, tone hushed, "I didn't know you were in love with someone, Kacchan." There's something in the way Izuku utters those words that makes Katsuki's guts contorting painfully as Izuku fixes him with a stare that's way too hard for him to hold.

"Uh well," Kirishima interjects, "I have a meeting so.. I gotta go. I'll catch you two later." And just like that he walks away as if he didn't just wreck chaos into Katsuki's life and turn it into a inferno.

Katsuki watches Kirishima leave until he's out of the door, making a mental note to remove him from the list of friends later. The bastard even had the courage to wink at him before disappearing from the cafeteria. Katsuki had no idea which kind of technique Kirishima used to flirt with someone of his interest, but if it involved winking then he'd be damn because he looked like a goddamn idiot.

Katsuki swallows a lump down his throat when Izuku places his tray on the table and sits next to him, bringing him back to the situation at end.

An awkward silence stirs between them before Izuku turns towards him, his back straight and his hands on his knees as he gives Katsuki a meaningful look.

"Kacchan!" He says serious, and Katsuki immediately mimics his posture, tension weighing on his shoulders. "We need to talk."

Katsuki was so fucked.

It's really a situation in which he had never thought of finding himself into. He doesn't even have the time to recollect his thoughts because Deku is staring at him so intensely that Katsuki almost feels his skin burning feverishly under his piercing glare. His eyes shift nervously and his hands tremble slightly. What was he going to say? That he had been in love with him for the past decade but never had the balls to tell him? It was such a sore move worthy of a loser, and Katsuki was no loser. He didn't want Deku to know about his feelings like this, this was the worst way possible. He can't even bring himself to look him in the eye but he knows Deku is still staring at him.

His heart skips a beat when Izuku speaks;

"I wished you'd tell me, Kacchan." Izuku says, disappointment lining his voice. His hands turn into fists on his knees, nails digging hard into his palms. "I didn't know that you..."

"Look, ok... I fucked up." Katsuki says before his brain can process the words coming out of his mouth. Seeing Deku look so confused and afflicted made his heart throb, and hurting him was not a path Katsuki wanted to undertake ever again. He'd rather suffer a rejection than watching Deku look like he was about to collapse at any moment because of a stupid lie.

"I should have told you... I just...," he pauses taking a moment to take in the situation. So this was it. Finally Deku knew about his feelings. He just couldn't believe they were finally at the turning point. Maybe the cafeteria was not the right place for a love confession, but Katsuki didn't want to miss any chances at this point. He just had to say it properly, out and loud just as Kirishima had told him. Deku had to know that he loved him, that he always had. He takes a big breath, oxygen filling his lungs, "I thought you wouldn't.., "

"I mean," Izuku cuts him off, eyes blight with slight discomfort, "I always tell you everything, you always know pretty much anything about me, so somehow I...," Izuku trails off, glancing quickly to the side before his eyes set firmly on Katsuki's again, "I expected you'd do the same."

"I didn't mean to hide it from you. I was just scared that you-"

"Why would you be scared, Kacchan?" Izuku cuts him short again, "Isn't it normal to share secrets between friends?"

"Uh? Excuse me?" Katsuki's throat goes dry.

"Yeah, like I understand you didn't wanna tell me because you probably thought I was too caught up in my romances and you didn't want to bother me with your relationship issues, but still Kacchan," Izuku squints his eyes shut for a second, before bending forward, way too close to Katsuki, a little pout curving on his lips, "I'd have preferred if you told me. Aren't we friends, after all?"

The words echo in his mind and Katsuki's mouth opens slightly, trying to articulate what he wants to say next but he's so taken aback that he just sits there looking at Deku with huge disbelieving eyes.

"Deku, what are you talking about?" Katsuki says after a moment, trying to recollect himself.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm talking about you thinking I was too busy to care about your love life issues." Izuku says, gesturing wildly with his hands, "You should know I'll always be there for you, Kacchan! I don't know the person you're in love with, but if you intend to confess then I'm sure your confession will go over well because you're amazing, Kacchan! And I don't think this person would have any reasons to reject you. I mean, it would be immensely stupid of them to do that but remember that whatever happens I'll always be rooting for you and..."

Mumbling, Deku was fucking mumbling. He was going so fast on a mumbling spree that Katsuki was not following anymore. Deku's next line of words fall deaf in his ears, and Katsuki's head spins uncontrollably, feeling although as the ground was missing from under his feet.

He should have known that Deku was the densest person in the whole fucking world, even Kirishima had told him. Hell, everyone knew, yet Katsuki had been so naïve to believe that Deku would easily catch on. That would have been a fucking, huge miracle. He had known Deku for ages. How could he have forgotten this peculiar yet bothersome trait of his. Midoriya fucking Deku dense Izuku that was what his full name should have been.

With a rapid roll of his eyes and a sharp click of his tongue, Katsuki inhales deeply before looking at Deku who is still speaking incoherently fast, words mixed together into a jumbled mess that he can barely understand. He was mumbling about something regarding trust and friendship now, because of course, those were the only words Katsuki could make out among that slanderous, fast speech. The nerd had stressed so much about those their entire lives that they were now stuck on his head like a loop on repeat. And suddenly Katsuki as if overwhelmed by an unknown feeling, he jerks his head back and starts laughing, loudly so. So loud that his laughter fills the whole cafeteria, catching the attention of the few people that were still having lunch. Izuku's mumbling suddenly comes to a halt, green eyes dubious and wandering on Katsuki's full laughing form immediately.

"Kacchan!? Are you ok?" Izuku says tentatively, stressing the words cautiously, eyes flickering in embarrassment around the cafeteria at the people watching them with curiosity. He wails his hands in front of him trying to get Katsuki to stifle his laughter but his childhood friend doesn't stop. "Kacchan, I really don't know what's so funny," Izuku says a little agitated now, "but people are watching."

Katsuki's laugh gradually dies down but does not come to an end completely. "I can't fucking believe this." He says, voice still slurred with laughter, noticing how Deku's face scrunches more into confusion. He looked like a lost, confused puppy, and Katsuki couldn't decide if he was just unbelievably flabbergasted at the turn of events or just straight out relieved that Deku hadn't catch on. "You are fucking unbelievable you know that?"

Izuku's eyes widen in dismay, both of his hands are entwined together on his lap, eyes cast downwards. "Kacchan, if you're angry because I didn't notice before, I'm sorry. It just didn't occur to me that you were in love with someone. You're always so aloof when it comes to dating, so I never thought you were interested in any of it at all but," he quickly darts his eyes up, meeting Katsuki's who's listening with his arms crossed and an expression Izuku can't decipher. "I'm here now. I'll always support you."

Katsuki lets out a loud snort, "Really?" He mocks. He couldn't believe how apologetic the nerd sounded, all of his steaming anger was quickly subsiding because Deku looked so hurt at the fact he didn't notice he had love troubles sooner. The whole situation was damn fucking hilarious in a way.

"Yes really!" Izuku replies, obviously missing Katsuki's mocking tone as he briefly looks around, relieved to see they averted the attention away from them. "So when are you going to confess to this person?" He says, turning to Katsuki again.

Katsuki has a hard time repressing a growl this time. "I fucking did, Deku."

"You did?" Izuku perks up on his seat, the revelation leaving him agape, "What did they say?"

Katsuki clenches his teeth in exasperation. "They obviously fucking brushed me off."

"WHAT?" Izuku abruptly stands up, knocking the chair over in the process, regaining the attention of the people in the cafeteria. "Why?" He asks flabbergasted, words coming out louder than he'd intended to.

"You tell me, Deku." Katsuki pins him with a glare, uncaring of the multiple stares pitched their way.

"It's their loss, Kacchan! They have made a big mistake. They'll regret it." Izuku says a little too loudly.

Katsuki didn't understand why Deku sounded so worked up as if he was the one being rejected, or why the tips of his ears had gone red, but it really didn't matter right now.

"Indeed a big mistake." Katsuki says with a sigh, anger deflating. He had been swayed into believing that Deku was sensitive enough to read between the lines. What a fucking joke.

"Yes, so I'm sure that if you talk with this person again they might-,"

Katsuki snorts for the umpteenth time, "Deku, we're not having this conversation here." He says rather harshly as he stands up and starts heading out of the cafeteria, hands in his pockets.

"Kacchan, wait!" Izuku calls him, alarm in his voice, but Katsuki doesn't wait, and Izuku is left there with a bitter taste in his mouth as he looks at Kacchan's retreating back until he's out of sight.

He sighs dejectedly, eyes fixed on the door where Kacchan had just left. What was this uneasy feeling? His stomach churns in guilt. How could he have not noticed that his childhood and best friend was going through such a hard time.

"Feelings are such a delicate matter." Izuku says to himself, hand clutching on his chest. He knew he had to do something to cheer up Kacchan. Despite of how absurd that sounded, because Izuku just couldn't wrap it in his head how someone could have refuse such a fearsome, brave hero like Kacchan, he knew rejections were never easy to get through. Izuku had plenty of experience about that, enough to know that it wasn't the best of course to pry into Kacchan's life. But Izuku would have always been there for him, at least to boost his morale, if nothing else. That was what friends were for. He just didn't understand why Kacchan would tell Kirishima first instead of him. Was he not a good friend, after all? The hand that was clutched on his chest tightens, and his mind goes where he least expects it.

"Kacchan is in love with someone." he murmurs to himself, the words are foreign on his tongue, bitter.

With another sigh, Izuku stands up, ready to get back to work, his tray of food remains untouched on the table. He definitely would talk to Kacchan again later, even if Kacchan didn't seem prone to it, Izuku was not one to give up. He considered himself his best friend so that was what Izuku was going to be. His best friend and confident ever.


	3. Chapter 3

In occasion of the upcoming conference held by All Might later that afternoon, all of the heroes who were invited had been granted an early leave for the day.

Katsuki was thankful for it, because, in all truth, he had tried to avoid Deku after what had happened at lunch time. He was not particularly overjoyed, however, when he saw the rain coming down in sheets upon leaving the agency building.

Pulling his coat closer, Katsuki scoffed at the realization he didn't have an umbrella with him. It was supposed to be a sunny day. Fucking forecasts were never right, Katsuki thought begrudgingly as lighting flashed across the sky, quickly followed by the loud rumbling of thunder. Resigned at the fact the rain wouldn't have let go any sooner, he gritted his teeth and braved himself into the rain.

Earlier in the day, after all the ruckus happened with Deku, he had received a text from Kirishima telling him to meet him at the coffee shop right behind the agency. The thought of launching his phone onto space had crossed Katsuki's mind upon receiving the text, because after the low blow Kirishima had inflicted on him, he sure did have some guts asking him to meet up. But Katsuki quickly disregarded that thought in favour of launching shitty hair across the sky, instead. That would have been so much more fulfilling.

With that in mind, he hastily sprints into a run under the pelting rain, making a turn on his left and reaching the location in two minutes. But by the time Katsuki takes shelter his coat is already drenched. The frigid air shakes his body, almost leaving it numb, and Katsuki grunts, scrambling off of his coat before entering the place. The warm air inside immediately welcomes him with a fragrant smell of coffee beans mixed with the smell of chocolate and cakes. It was a small family café with chestnut coloured furniture, a mix of comfy seating and professional ones in addition to a few tables with regular chairs and cushy couches. The cream coloured walls were adorned with vintage photos, making the place feel almost as a mini art museum. Nostrils assaulted by that inviting, sweet aroma, Katsuki is greeted by the baristas, whom smile at him with a fluent welcome speech. Nodding back politely, he quickly scans the semi crowded place until, to his own distaste, he sees Kirishima sitting on a table next to the window, but not alone. Ashido is there too, busying herself with what seemed to be a giant chocolate croissant. Katsuki was half way deciding to spin on his heels and leave before Mina takes sight of him and waves at him enthusiastically.

"Bakugou, this way." She beams at him, waving a beckoning hand in his direction.

Katsuki rolls his eyes and unwillingly makes his way to the table, displeasure written all over his face. When he reaches the table Katsuki notices that Ashido is wearing an azure low cut dress with a low neckline, accompanied with a set of matching jewellery; too fancy for a casual café.

"The fuck are you doing here, raccoon eyes?" He asks perplexed, towering over the two with a menacing aura.

Mina gives him a look of reluctance, lips turning into a pout.

"Don't be a party pooper." She says, feigning hurt. "My agency is just behind the corner, you know that. Kirishima called me because we have to celebrate."

A look of confusion etches onto Katsuki's features as he sits down in front of them and stares at Kirishima, looking for answers.

"Celebrate? What's there to fucking celebrate?" Katsuki sneers, noticing a cup of hot mocha in front of him. If there was anything to celebrate that would have been Katsuki's dead love life.

"C' mon Bakugou!" Kirishima says mirthfully. "I even ordered you coffee!"

Katsuki glances at the brownish coloured liquid, taking the cup in his own hands, warmth seeping into his body as soon as he takes the first sip. "Well, fucking thanks." He says, setting down the cup again and idly staring into it. "But there's nothing to celebrate."

And there really wasn't, his day was filled with nothing but frustration. All Deku related.

"Kirishima told me you've finally confessed to Midoriya." Mina says with glee. "You gotta tell us all the details. The juicy ones." She adds, winking in a way that Katsuki found too obnoxious. Maybe she had picked that up from shitty hair or vice versa.

"Yeah," Kirishima says with a big smile that is all teeth, pointing his thumb at himself for good measure, "and it's all thanks to me. If not, it would have taken probably other 10 years for Baku bro here to confess."

"Whaa! This is so exciting!" Mina perks up on her seat, clasping her hands together in joy. "You two are finally a thing!"

Katsuki almost chokes, eyes wide. He was split between murdering Kirishima for spilling the beans to someone else without even knowing the outcome of what had happened earlier in the cafeteria or strangling Ashido who looked way too excited about someone else's private life. The idiots were only making absurd assumptions, and Katsuki's face couldn't help but morph into a grimace, lips jutting out into a ferocious frown before he swats his hands down on the table harshly, causing his cup of mocha to topple over and spill the hot content.

Ashido promptly recovers the cup, wiping the table with a napkin before the sugary liquid tips all over her clothes.

"Oh my God!" She exclaims as she rushes to wipe the table dry. "You were just about to ruin my expensive couture dress!" She gestures wildly, panic clear in her eyes, "And I'm even supposed to wear this later at the conference!"

Katsuki gives her a side glance, his red eyes glow with fire. He didn't even know she had been invited to the conference because he had never bothered to check the guests list, and in all honesty, he couldn't care less about her attire. That, however, didn't explain why Ashido was already dressed up when the conference was 4 hours away from happening. "Fuck if I care." Katsuki says, voice loud and booming.

"Bakugou, what's wrong with you?" Kirishima intervenes, concern etched in his features, acquainted with Katsuki's antics but not willing to put up with them, "You are yelling. Not like that's something new but c'mon, chill. We are in a public place." He says, gesturing around in warning.

"Fuck you, Kirishima." Katsuki growls in a lower tone, heeding the warnings as he sits back on his chair, deciding he had drawn too much attention for the day. He crosses his arms, trying to stifle his simmering anger, head cocked on one side. "He got it all wrong." He grunts, words coming out in a slur.

"Uh?" Kishima and Ashido say in unison, looking baffled. "Who?"

Katsuki restrains another growl and favours them with the nastiest death glare he can manage. "Deku! Who else? You absolute morons! We are not... a thing." He pauses, sighing dramatically, and for some reason Katsuki feels a pinprick to his heart at the realization that he and Deku were remotely far from even being a thing. "Now the nerd knows I'm in love but with someone else." He adds, lowering his gaze in utter defeat.

"I don't understand." Kirishima looks distraught as he taps a finger on the wooden table. "Didn't you confess to him in the cafeteria?"

The movement of Kirishima's finger makes Katsuki follow it in mild annoyance. "Apparently I did it wrong." He says gruffly, "He brushed me off telling me he's gonna help me with the person I love."

"You what?" Kirishima and Ashido screech at the same time, exchanging a look of befuddlement. They can't restrain the laughter that starts bubbling at their lips after that. Much to Katsuki's annoyance, Kirishima is the first one to explode into a manic laugh, jerking back on his seat and clutching at his stomach for extra effect, so much for preaching about not attracting attention. "Pffwaahaha! That's why I told you to speak clearly to him."

"C'mon Bakugou!" Ashido chimes in, she as well, laughing with gusto, "Midoriya is the epitome of obliviousness. He is smart but when it comes to romantic matters his brain is covered with layers thicker than the china wall."

"Oh right." Kirishima says, voice laced with remembrance but still tittering. "Do you remember that time when Todoroki tried to ask him out and Midoriya flat out brushed him off because he completely thought he was asking him to go shopping?"

"Oh my god, yes!" Mina turns towards Kirishima, grinning widely, "Poor Todoroki seemed so afflicted and even had to spend money on shopping he didn't want to do."

Katsuki's heart suddenly stung. His primitive inner self is suddenly awaken, looking for release. Needles pierce straight through his chest at the mentioning of half 'n half bastard and facts regarding him and Deku he was not aware of. A cold chill run down his spine, freezing him in place for a fraction of a second before his face turns dangerously dark.

"When did this happen?" Katsuki demands, tone grave and wrecked, almost on the pit of exploding.

"Uh," Kirishima brings a hand on his chin thoughtfully, trying to reminisce when it all had happened, "I think it was sometime during our second year at U.A. He says, voice caked in doubt. "But I don't think Todoroki had ever tried to ask him out again after that one time." He adds oblivious to Katsuki's inner turmoil.

Despite Kirishima confirming it had happened ages ago, Katsuki cannot stop the burning feeling of uneasiness, the cold ice filling his mind. If things had turned out differently and Todoroki succeeded in his intent of asking Deku out, Katsuki was sure he'd have lose his goddamn mind.

"I know what you are thinking." Mina says, glaring at Bakugou with a knowing look. She watches him as his facial features scrunch into discontent, regret, anger. She had known him for a long time now and she could easily tell whatever was in his mind from the subtle clues he gave her. "But you don't need to go berserk for something that happened ages ago."

"Yeah, they were teenagers and nothing ever happened, anyway." Kirishima chips in in support, underlining Mina's previous statement.

Those words should have comforted Katsuki, calmed him down, but instead they only make his self-control collapse into the depths of hell. His heart beats erratically fast, blood pumping furiously in his veins. What if Todoroki tried to ask Deku out again? What if Deku accepted? Now as adults, they were both more mature and knew each other better, they had had their share of experience together, and to top it off, Deku considered Todoroki a nice friend and person, overall. And really, considering all that, how long would it be before Deku came to his senses and realised how much of a good choice Todoroki was, or anyone else who was not Katsuki himself, for that matter. The prickly, unpleasant thought that maybe he didn't deserve Deku cuts through Katsuki's chest sharp as a knife. He couldn't imagine what a life without Deku by his side was. What it was like to see him happy with someone rather than him. Katsuki's world suddenly shrinks, dark and cold, as realization hits him like a thunderstorm, like a gust of gelid wind freezing his bones. Fury coarses through his body, making his primal instincts alight anew, deep and heavy. He couldn't let anyone else have Deku. Never.

"Oi, snap out of it." Mina's high pitched and withering voice intrudes into Katsuki's foggy mind, bursting whatever nasty thought he had going on. Back to his senses, Katsuki meets Mina's hard and icy stare.

"I know what you're thinking." The pink haired woman says, her face banked. "That's exactly what's hindering you from taking the next step. From having a steady progression towards the right direction." Her tone is heavy, linear, and Katsuki gawks, his eyes wide, feeling as if he was stripped of his secrecy.

"You think I don't know that?" Katsuki says when he finds himself at loss for words, sinking in defeat, his skin tight with anger.

"If you know that...," Kirishima interjects, exchanging a meaningful look with Mina, "then you should stop putting yourself down and shove any hindrance coming yours and Midoriya's way aside." He says with a wistful, pensive expression.

"Did you actually tell him 'I love you' properly?" Mina says, trying to impersonate Bakugou acting lovey dovely, in attempt to lighten the mood, which, not unexpectedly, goes over too well given Katsuki's face changes into anger quick as a change of wind, almost one step away from igniting explosions on his palms and disintegrating his friends right in the spot, witnesses or not. Kirishima chuckles beside her before Katsuki growls.

"I'm fucking gonna stick those mugs up your asses." Katsuki threatens, his posture is imposing and frightening and suddenly Kirishima and Ashido falter, dropping their antics instantly.

"OK." Kirishima says, his voice takes on a serious connotation, "Why don't you try telling him again?"

Katsuki scoffs, his jaw clenches with barely contained indignation. "I wouldn't have spent 10 years of my life brooding over it if I could do it." He dangerously jams a finger at his friends, brows knitting together at the stupid question. "And I remind you that my last attempt was a goddam total failure!"

"Not a total failure per se." Kirishima reasons, scrunching up his nose. "At least now Midoriya knows you're into romance. Look at it this way, it's a good thing, and you should just follow, so the next step would be letting him know that you're into guys."

"Ah! But that's the problem!" Mina cuts in, leaning on the table, frantic. "Our dear friend Bakugou here," She says stressing on each word lazily as she wiggles an accusatory finger at him, "has no idea what romance is."

Katsuki winces, squinting his eyes in irritation; that was an offense to his ego, his pride.

"That's true." Kirishima agrees much to Katsuki's discontent, "But think about it, Bakugou. If telling your feelings to Midoriya is too difficult for you-," He bends over the table, arms stretched flat, "have you ever considered flirting with him, instead? That would be a good start."

Katsuki goes silent for a while, eyes focusing on a particular spot in between Kirishima's extended arms in the wooden table. His friends watch him as his face twists into utter embarrassment, which they think is a rare sight on him. Then his gaze slowly settles to their faces again, almost as if he was mentally dragging himself away from whatever unnamed sentiment was unsettling him. "I- I'm not good at this romance shit!" Katsuki stammers with his admission, brows furrowed into a displeased crease.

Mina blinks, disconcerted as she plops back onto her chair, arms folded on her chest. "How exactly do you want to win Midoriya over then?" She says, exasperation lacing her voice. "You should just sweep him off his feet."

"Yeah, that's it!" Kirishima says, cheerful. "That's what you should work over, Bakugou!"

"Listen here boy!" Mina says, lounging forward again, her chair creaks under her weight as she presses her hands against the table. "There are few rules you should know about courting." She decisively holds her hand up in the air and starts counting with her fingers, as if Katsuki was a first grader and wouldn't catch on if she didn't do so.

"First off. Cussing at him is a no no."

Katsuki restrains a growl from escaping his throat. That was basically like telling him to reduce the very essence of his personality.

"Second." Mina continues, voice like a rumbling thunder, "Treat him nicely."

"Third. Take him places."

"Fourth. Buy him something even if little."

"If you do this, even if Midoriya is oblivious he'll notice the little changes and he'll start to look at you differently."

"Last but not least." Mina says, sticking up her fifth finger, her pinkie, which was a kind of a pun demonstration played with her hero name Pinky, to underline the importance of that last point.

"Touch him. Do it often, as subtly as possible, and then when you dim it right go in for the kiss."

Katsuki's heart leaps in his throat, cheeks red with fire. Ashido made it sound so easy, but flirting, and especially being subtle about it, was a concept totally foreign to him. However, the thought of acting in a different way towards the nerd, of treating him as any different than a close friend has Katsuki's heart flutter with hope. Maybe his friends were right, if he looked at things from another perspective, Katsuki was sure he could nail it. He sighs, turning to look outside the window, relief oozes through him when he sees that the rain had long stopped, and so had the thunder in his heart.

"Well," Mina stands up, patting her fancy dress, catching Katsuki's attention again. "I'm gonna get going. Don't want to be late. I'll catch you later at the conference." She says as she pins Bakugou with a stare of mutual understanding.

"Oh, I forgot!" Kirishima says, sparking a grin her way. "You're supposed to go there earlier, right?"

"Yep." Mina says excitedly, beaming at Kirishima beside her. "I'm a part of the preparation speech and other stuff."

Katsuki bunches his eyebrows together, finally realizing why she was already dressed up.

"Yeah well, good luck with that." Kirishima cheers with a thumb up. "I better be going as well. I still have to choose what to wear myself. And you-," He looks at Bakugou sternly, "don't you dare coming in jeans and shirt. There's a dress code for this event, got it?"

"Knowing Bakugou he'd come in his hero costume or worse in his pyjamas." Mina interrupts, voice full of mockery.

"Yeah whatever." Katsuki snarls, deciding to not let the offensive comments get through him this time.

They collect their coats and walk out of the café together then, biding their goodbyes outside and going their different ways, but not before Mina yells at Katsuki to keep it together and get Midoriya, to which Katsuki only rolls his eyes.

Katsuki was thoughtful all the way to his apartment. He thought about the many approaches he could adopt about flirting with Deku and then hopefully sweep him off his feet like Ashido had said. But he had to go in order about that. And to do it, he had to stop looking at the past, to stop those ugly thoughts lurching in his mind that did nothing but rotten and deteriorate his relationship with Deku preventing it from turning it into something more. Katsuki carefully revised in his mind the advices given by his friends.

Don't cuss at him. Treat him nicely. Take him places. Buy him something. Touch him. Kiss him. Katsuki felt like he was going to combust then and there. One thing was kissing Deku secretly while he was asleep, but doing the real thing with a sentient and awake Deku was another. He feels the tips of his ears flush hot as he unlocks the main door of his apartment building, reaches the elevator and presses the button to the 4th floor. Things like flirting and romance were not a part of his daily life, but if he really wanted Deku to finally be his Deku, and God he wanted him so much, he really had to change his tactics.

When the elevator doors ding open, however, the last thing Katsuki expected was to find Deku in front of his apartment door.

"Well, fuck." Katsuki growled and swallowed so hard he thought he had maybe smashed his vocal chords.

"Kacchan!" Izuku beams at him, light radiates off of him as he smiles widely, and Katsuki stops dead on his tracks, his pupils dilating. "Where have you been?" Izuku says, showing off a shopping bag dangling from his outstretched hand, a black coat draped on his other arm, "I got you chilli corns. Your favourites."

Katsuki couldn't think. He was not ready to face him again after what had happened. The nape of his neck goes on fire, heart to his throat as he registers Deku in front of him. The nerd was wearing a light brown suit with an orange button down shirt complete of a dark green bow tie which accentuated Izuku's eyes colour splendidly. He looked absolutely adorable in it. Most definitely his attire for attending the conference.

"The fuck are you doing here, nerd?" Katsuki says, voice drawn in an involuntary snarl, throwing rule number one straight out the window.

Izuku's smile quickly turns into a frown, his brows knitting together as his stare narrows. "I thought we could go to the conference together," He says, worrying his bottom lip, "and also, I wanted to talk, Kacchan!"

Katsuki jeers, legs trembling with tension as he covers the distance between him and Deku in quick long strides and stops in front of the door. "Why don't I fucking give you a copy of the key?" He says, voice hoarse and raw, "You're practically here all the time. This is invasion of privacy Deku!" Katsuki cursed mentally. Rule number two had gone down the drain just as quick, but at the same time, the thought of sharing his apartment keys with Deku sent him into a cloud of happiness.

"So mean!" Izuku whispers, lips curling into a pout as Katsuki unlocks the door. "I even bought chilli vanilla ice cream!"

Katsuki watches him from the corner of his eyes, a trill of anxiety mixed with guilt jamming in his chest as he makes his way inside the apartment with Deku following suit behind him. They unceremoniously discard their coats on a chair near the door and slip their shoes off. Katsuki quickly makes a straight beeline to the kitchen. "Tea?" He asks over his shoulder, filling the kettle with fresh water and switching it on.

Izuku is still in the entry way, eyes wary and thoughtful as he follows Katsuki's ministrations. "About what happened earlier," He says then, ignoring Katsuki's question; his tone has something edgy in it, cautiousness. "I would really like it if you-"

Katsuki suddenly turns around, arms crossed and meets Izuku's eyes dead on, cutting him short. "The fuck Deku!" He says, a bolt of panic seizes through him. "Do we really need to talk about this?"

Izuku heaves a sigh, every inch of his body in alert as he sits on the couch and rests his groceries on the small dining table. "I'm your friend." He says, hands folded on his lap, refusing to leave Katsuki's hard stare. "Have you ever thought how I'd feel about you not telling me you are in love?" Izuku pauses, inhales deeply through his nose, then exhales. "I mean, you told Kirishima but not me."

Izuku's words are barely audible, above a whisper, but Katsuki hears them loud and clear.

Guilt, regret, remorse hit him like a thunderstorm in its wake, and Katsuki's features go lax with shame. It only made sense that Deku would have felt alienated by this new information regarding his life. Romance had never been in the book before, he had never mentioned it because the feelings he had, still has for Deku had always been a deterrent. Katsuki couldn't risk to let Deku know, but now that Deku had been informed about it in the less orthodox way by overhearing a conversation between him and Kirishima, Katsuki could only imagine how Deku felt.

Betrayed? Disappointed? Deceived? Katsuki could go on with the list, he knew he had fucked up, a total failure as a friend.

"Look Deku," Katsuki says rather calm, electric kettle forgotten as he pads towards the couch and sits next to him. "I'm an asshole sometimes, I get it but-"

"Kacchan, I'm not asking for an apology." Izuku breaths out, heavy and succinct. "I just think I've failed as a friend. If you chose not to tell me I'm sure you had your reasons. That's why as your friend I-"

Something deep and feral skates down Katsuki's spine. This was what he got because of his stupid lies; a wrecked and apologetic Deku was not what he wanted. How that idiot could turn things around so quickly and blame himself? "For fuck sake!" Katsuki says through clenched teeth, "This is not your fault, Deku!"

"It is, partly." Izuku says, a hot coil burning in his chest, "As your best friend I should have at least sense that there was something going on, but I didn't and-"

Katsuki snaps, self control leaving him at once. "Friends friends! Goddammit Deku! How do you think I can even tell you anything if you go on and on about that?" He says, voice laced with razor edge gravity as he shots up from the couch, "You always spout this shit about friendship and I just can't take it anymore."

Izuku's face goes blank then twists into shock with recognition, eyes wide at the feel of a sharp jab trudging at his heart. Kacchan was right, he hadn't realized it up until now but probably his stressing out about friendship all the damn time had Kacchan stay on the edge, always a step behind, probably thinking he was not up to Izuku expectations of friendship which was why Kacchan had felt unsecure and maybe a little intimidated about telling him about his love life. But hadn't they gone through something similar before? Why would Kacchan not say anything?

Gaze foggy and focused on his feet, Izuku's shoulder stiffen, mouth parted in a serious line. "I understand Kacchan!" He says, voice wrecked and hollow. "I probably put too much on your shoulders because I've always been adamant about our friendship, and I guess that's what made you feel unworthy of it. But Kacchan," He pauses briefly, his speech becomes disorganised, erratic, words spilling from his mouth fitfully. "You more than anyone should understand why I'm like this. I don't want our friendship to decline ever again that's why...," Izuku breaks off his streak of words, allowing himself to breath before he peers up and regards Kacchan who is looking at him in utter bewilderment, "I want us to tell each other everything, no secrets. There are none between friends, Kacchan!" He says with a honest, frank expression.

Katsuki sighs before flopping back in the couch, the corners of his lips twitch and his features tighten as he looks at Deku with a discontented expression that Izuku couldn't fathom for his own good.

The entire situation hurt. Deku misunderstanding him. Deku not catching up with his own feelings. Deku feeling guilty for not being a good friend. Deku being genuinely worried for him. Deku's obliviousness.

Deku. Just plain Deku.

It hurt so damn much. Katsuki had no idea how to convey his feelings or what he was supposed to do or say to him.

"It hurts." Katsuki says then, words spilling from his lips without logical thinking. He watches as Deku's large green eyes shift into utter worry, as his features tighten with panic, as his attention flicks on every movement of Katsuki's glowering face.

"Are you sick, Kacchan?" Izuku says in agitation, suddenly invading Katsuki's space, one hand resting on his forehead. "You've been weird these past two days. Are you running a fever? Where does it hurt?"

A spark of electricity runs deep through Katsuki's veins. Deku's hand is like hot coal on his skin, his breath lingers too close on his lips, and Oh God, all Katsuki ever wants is to embrace him into a tight hug and kiss him, every inch of his aching, trembling body tells him so.

Feeling a little braver, Katsuki swallows before taking Deku's hand on his own and guiding it from his forehead down to his chest, above his heart. Perhaps it was the frustration of this so called crush Katsuki had had on the nerd for 10 long years that made him act instinctively. "No, you idiot!" Katsuki says breathless, heart beating fast, "It hurts here." His red eyes shine with eerie intensity, more pupils than irises when he meets Deku's hazy and confused ones.

Unhinged by Kacchan's unusual demeanour, Izuku unconsciously moves his other hand in small circles on Kacchan's chest, breathing deep and slow with half lidded eyes.

"Kacchan!," Izuku murmurs, his voice sounds faint and imperceptible to his own ears. "Have you been training without me?" His hand keeps drawing circles, feeling the defined muscles on Kacchan's chest, definitely more chiselled than he'd remember.

"Maybe." Katsuki says in a throaty voice, intent and predatory eyes lowering onto Izuku's rosy lips.

Izuku bites his bottom lip, a tinge of anxiety hammering at the back of his skull as he wonders about the meaning of this odd, unforeseen situation. "That's cheating, Kacchan!" He drawls before he sees Kacchan branding him with those fiery red eyes of his, eyes widening when he sees him lean forward slowly and deliberate. Izuku gulps at the closeness, at Kacchan's hand scorching his, but before Kacchan can get any closer and before Izuku can come to a clear understanding of Kacchan's intentions, his phone starts beeping, warning him of an incoming message, bursting the moment in a millisecond. Taken aback, Izuku slowly falls back into his space. Cheeks incensed of a scarlet red as he fishes out his phone and checks it briefly before chugging it back into his pocket.

Katsuki blinks, irritated at the sudden interruption, face red and hot like lava as he inspects Deku for any sign of answer.

"It was Todoroki kun." Izuku says shortly after, heart drumming loudly in his chest for reasons he couldn't fathom. He finds himself unknowingly creating more distance between him and Kacchan as he moves to the far end of the couch, gaze intent on his knees, unable to meet Kacchan's.

"Half 'n half?" Katsuki bristles, feeling a sharp irritation surging in his chest, his heart squeezing at the mention of his name. His face loses its red colour and it's quickly replaced by slight anger. "The fuck did he want?" He asks, trying to hide his scowl but failing miserably. His mind travels back to what Kirishima and Ashido had told him, and all he can envision is the bastard trying to ask Deku out.

Mind wavering, eyes cast downwards, Izuku bites the inside of his cheeks as he steadies one hand above his chest, wishing for his thumping hurt to quite down. This was territory Izuku had never stepped on, a secret, foreign land he had never explored before and that made him want to know more. What was this feeling that burst through him like hot fire? Like he was a piece of hot metal ready to liquefy? This was ridiculous. Kacchan had merely touched his hand and pierced him with his stare, but so what? Izuku had touched him plenty before, it was a normal occurrence between friends, and Kacchan was his friend. He would always be. It was stupid of him to look for any other hidden meaning in the whole situation. Kacchan was wild most of the time, unpredictable, like a volcano in full eruption. It made no sense mulling over it and give it too much thought. Kacchan was probably acting weird because he was upset about the misunderstanding created between them, most probably.

"He and the others are gonna meet 30 minutes prior to the start of the conference." Izuku explains, his mind clearer as he forces his constricted lungs to work again.

"Deku." Izuku jolts when he hears Kacchan call his name in a way he had never heard before. He makes the big mistake to turn up his gaze on him, and when he does, Izuku is met again with branding fierce red eyes that make him altogether breathless.

Izuku can feel it all. The tension, the air, the change in atmosphere, the stillness in Kacchan's eyes, the scintilla of electricity between them that brings them to collide slightly, and suddenly Izuku feels as if denuded of his own soul. He swallows hard, unblinking, unable to look away from Kacchan. What was happening? What did cause such change in demeanour to that one person Izuku thought he knew best? Why right at this moment Kacchan seemed so different to him? Not at all the Kacchan he knew?

All his churning questions come to a halt when Kacchan moves from where he was seating and clutches him by the shoulders pulling him closer, red eyes still branding him hotly. Izuku's heart stops.

"Deku," Katsuki calls his name again, voice crackling with fire, "You.." He pauses, reconsidering, scrutinizing Deku's face as if in search of answers. The words stuck in his throat, not quite sure how he should have gone about this. His fingers dig deeply into Izuku's shoulder blades, his knuckles turning white. "Have you ever thought of dating half 'n half?" He says at last, brief and concise, gaze never leaving Izuku's.

"What?" Izuku squeaks under Katsuki's pressure, his voice comes out in a high pitched shrill. Green eyes huge and disbelieving at the question. "I-I..." Izuku stammers, confusion gripping at him. Why was Kacchan asking such a question? What did that have to do with anything? Why his childhood friend had to be such a mystery? "I don't get what you mean, Kacchan... I, I-"

"Answer the goddamn question, Deku." Katsuki almost bellows as he shakes Izuku briefly; there's grave seriousness in his voice, a hidden thunder waiting for liberation. And depending on the answer, Katsuki could well damn unleash it. "Have you or not, Deku?" He repeats carefully.

"Wh-what? N-no, I never." Izuku says, stumbling over his words, his entire face had to be in flame, Izuku knew. "Todoroki kun is my friend, that's all. I never looked at him that way." He casts his eyes sideways, lacking the courage to keep looking at Kacchan's eyes, which, for unfathomable reasons seemed to strip him of his usual calm. "Todoroki kun isn't my type." Izuku adds, embarrassed at his own confession, his lips quivering. He didn't understand why he felt the urge to specify that Todoroki wasn't his type, but odd enough, he just needed Kacchan to be aware of it.

He feels Kacchan's grip on him relent then, hands slowly sliding down from his shoulders to the sides of his waist as Kacchan lets out a sigh of utter relief.

"K-Kacchan?" Izuku turns to him again, cheeks still dusted red as he watches Kacchan briefly closing his eyes before looking at him again with a different glint in his red eye, as those sturdy and strong hands clasp tightly and desperately around his waist.

"And what's your type then?" Katsuki asks with no shame, words low and hushed that nonetheless, pierce straight through Izuku with the force of a thousand, tiny explosions.

"Wh-what?" Izuku yelps in surprise, breathing hard through his mouth, his eyes widens in dismay as a new wave of heat overwhelms his body. He's too conscious of Kacchan's hands on him, of those hands that had now moved on his tights as Kacchan stared deeply at him, giving no signs of letting him go. Izuku wished he had a teleport quirk to catapult himself in another dimension such was his embarrassment.

"W-what kinda question is that, Kacchan?" Izuku wails his hands in front of him, face beet red, his heart beating with a new rhythm and his brain almost halting all of its gears. "Besides, this is not about me. Shouldn't you be the one telling me who's the girl you're in love with?" Izuku asks, keen of diverting the topic elsewhere.

"I never said it was a girl, Deku." The words leave Katsuki's mouth before he can stop them, before he can become aware of them. It was almost as if his brain was in shambles, not able to process any coherent thought. Perhaps it was his hidden desire to let Deku know the truth, to let it all out after so long that made him disclose his secret. A secret too big for Katsuki to continue keeping it inside.

There were no yelps, no words and no shrieks on Deku's part this time. Katsuki's confession was met with absolute silence. An unbearable, deafening silence. It's only when Katsuki's shambled brain starts to reassemble itself that he becomes aware of the situation, of what he had blurted out without thinking. He boggles, pupils enlarging in shock as his gaze canvases over Deku's unreadable expression. Katsuki hated it when he couldn't read him, when he couldn't penetrate that brilliant nerdy mind of his, which was another reason why he had never confessed his feelings to him. But now the quietness was killing him, and Katsuki could only wait as more moments of silence passed; the only noise being the light ticking of the clock on his kitchen wall that resounded like a time bomb ready to explode altogether with Katsuki's heart.

Swallowing a lump down his throat, Katsuki's hands hesitantly fall back from Izuku's tights into his own as he draws back to sit on his haunches, waiting, anticipating and...

"Kacchan!" Izuku's voice is hushed but his timbre is wholesomely firm, grand and it resonates into Katsuki's head loud as a roaring thunder. He sees Deku regarding him from under his messy bangs still wearing that illegible expression of his, and Katsuki swallows again, deep and hard as he waits for him to speak.

"You-", Izuku pauses; this time it's his gaze piercing Katsuki fully, unmalleable and renitent, making Katsuki shrink under its power, "You are into guys!?" It's not a question but more a statement, a confirmation to which Katsuki nods slightly. He watches as Deku's features scrunch in sudden realization, as those large green eyes stretch out of their orbits in revelation.

Finally, Katsuki thinks, biting his bottom lip in exhaustion, finally Deku knew. Only an idiot wouldn't catch up with the gist of things, and Deku couldn't be so dense not to acknowledge his feelings for him, not to acknowledge his pining, his adoration, his longing, his-

"You are in love with Todoroki kun?" Izuku blurts out the unexpected question, face blanched and eyes wider than before. Katsuki immediately sputters, coughing and chocking on his saliva, entire body rumbling and shaking in horror.

"Wait what?" Katsuki shrieks in consternation, hands trembling with anxiety. Him in love with half 'n half? What kind of sick process had led Deku to come to that disgusting conclusion? "What the fuck nerd! What made you think-"

"I'm sorry, Kacchan!" Izuku hastily interrupts him, voice breaking at the new piece of information he had just acquired about Kacchan's love life. "B-but I d-don't think I c-can have t-this c-conversation right now," he says, words tripping, tone the embodiment of disappointment. He turns on his heels and stalks away from Kacchan's apartment without another word, almost as if he was chased by a villain.

Deprived of physical and emotional strength, Katsuki falls from the couch and onto his knees, arms limb at his side, watching in dismay as Deku runs out of his apartment in a rush.

What the fuck had just happened?

Katsuki growls, quickly taking back his previous statement. Deku was not an idiot. He was a huge, dense idiot, and the worst of it all was that Katsuki, to his own chagrin, was in love with that oblivious idiot.

"I'm in love with the densest and oblivious moron of all times."

Katsuki sighs as he runs a wobbly hand through his hair. That green nerd was going to be the death of him.


	4. Chapter 4

Izuku had to be stupid to run out of Kacchan's apartment without any second thoughts, just like an immature child not able to face the truth. After all the preaching he had done about friendship, trust and understanding, calling himself immature was an understatement. He had sprinted out into the streets as if he were a villain trying to escaping from a pro hero chasing him, and in his case, the pro hero was Ground Zero. He didn't even bother to check the direction he had ran off to and used his full cowling power to run away faster, oblivious of people who recognised him and took pictures of him with their smartphones as they screamed in excitement his hero name.

When short of breath, Izuku finally stops before making sure Kacchan hadn't ran after him, cheeks flushed and palms on his knees as he tries to regain his regular breathing. His mind races back to Kacchan's words and suddenly an unpleasant feeling of jealousy pinpricks at his heart, hand fast clutching at his chest to subside that weird feeling of pain.

Todoroki was the one Kacchan was in love with, and from the gist of things Izuku had understood that he had been rejected by him. How Todoroki could refuse a worthy and amazing hero like Ground Zero was beyond Izuku's comprehension. The pain in his chest turns into rage, which only increases when his phone beeps again and sees it's another text from Todoroki.

Msg 17:45  
We are already waiting in the cafeteria in front of the venue.

Izuku reads the text with a foggy mind, clutching the phone with trembling hands, eyes turning into slits as he bites his lip in anger. As if under the influence of a villain's quirk, Izuku sprints again into a furious run towards the meeting place, adamant to have a word with him and settle things straight. No one could fuck around with his childhood and best friend like that, especially when there was no reason for it. Kacchan's amazingness was a fact nobody could deny, and Izuku was going to give Mr handsome a piece of his mind even though Todoroki was his friend. Making use of his quirk again, he jumps from roof to roof above buildings and houses and reaches his destination in under 20 minutes. Mind still clouded, Izuku enters the café in a rush, stopping at the entrance and allowing his eyes to scan the place until he sees Todoroki standing in front of a table with a tray in his hands and few cups of coffee in it. He briefly takes in the view of some of his ex- high school classmates sitting around the table, waiting for Todoroki to hand them the coffees that he apparently had volunteered to buy for them.

At that very moment Izuku doesn't know which kind of entity has possessed his body, but at the sight of the hot and cold pro hero he can feel the rage swelling up from within his body, like a bolt of electricity coursing from his upper arms straight down to his fists. For the first time in his life Izuku wanted to hit, wanted to punch someone, not for the sake of saving and rescuing, but just out of sheer anger and revenge. It all happens in a blink of an eye, unable to contain the overwhelming feeling of fury and resentment towards the one he considered a friend, Izuku is fast on his feet, lurching forwards like a feral without any inhibitions or restraints. His fist makes contact with Todoroki's face hard and heavy, sending him and the cups of coffee he's holding toppling over the wooden table and crashing down onto the floor soon after. Loud screams of panic and surprise echo through the café as Todoroki whimpers and contorts in pain on the ground, hand holding the left side of his face as he turns around and blanches out upon recognising his assailant.

Midoriya stands before him with a face like a cataclysm, fists still raised and wrath flitting through his entire being. There were only two options Todoroki could think of to explain the state Midoriya was in and the reason that had led the ever so calm pro hero Deku to slash out at him the way he did. He was either hit by a strange villain's quirk and didn't have full control of his mind and body or it was something related to Bakugou. He had known him long enough to assert what exactly had send Midoriya into a crazed frenzy, and indeed, Shouto has confirmation of it when he sees Midoriya menacingly advancing on him, face dark and eyes flashing a murderous red before he bawls at him.

"How dare you do this to Kacchan!" Izuku screams, words dripping with venom but his voice breaking as if he's choking in pain. He prepares to hit Todoroki again when he feels the grip of someone's strong arms wrapping around his waist and holding him in place.

"Stop it Midoriya! What's gotten into you?"

Kirishima's voice makes Izuku whip his head around so fast that the taller pro hero shivers as he is pierced with ferocious dark green eyes. It's a foreign, unsettling look Kirishima had never seen before on his long time friend's features, and instinctively he relents a bit the hold he has on him.

"Let me go, Kirishima kun." Izuku yells, uncaring of the few people that had crowded them and were now watching amidst fear and curiosity.

"Are you alright Todoroki san?" After the initial shock, Yaoyorozu is at Todoroki's side within seconds, concern clear in her face. "Can you stand up?" She offers him a helping hand and Shouto doesn't hesitate accepting it as he stands back on his feet, his other hand still clutching at his face in an attempt to endure the pain. He looks over at Midoriya who's still fuming with belligerence and hostility, still Shouto couldn't figure out what he was accused of or how Bakugou came into the picture given the two of them hadn't seen much of each other in the last month.

"Midoriya." Shouto utters his name with a low, brazen tone that reveals slight annoyance. Thin lines of bitterness etch around the edges of his mouth. "I figure you have a good enough reason if you've punched me?"

Those words seems to set Izuku further on fire. The urge to assault Todoroki and ruin his pretty face burns him alive, like a blowtorch smouldering deep inside his chest that awaits to be freed. He struggles into Kirishima's devilish clutch so fervently that even Kaminari has to join Kirishima to hold him back from his onslaught.

"Really? Is that the best answer you could come up with?" Izuku retorts as he looks at Todoroki with steady eyes that were filled with bellicosity. If Todoroki wanted to play dumb, Izuku thought, he'd have wasted no time punching him again until he spit out the truth.

"Midoriya kun!" Iida interrupts the heated atmosphere between the two as he walks slowly towards him. He sees Midoriya turn to him with a jerk of his head, a glint of fire still in his green eyes, and even though he's still restrained by both Kirishima and Kaminari, Iida stops at once, heeding the warnings as he puts his arms up in the air to look as unthreatening as he could.

"I don't know what's going on or why you're so upset." Iida says still not moving. "But violence isn't the answer."

"Stay out of it, Iida kun!" Izuku says sharply, turning to Todoroki again, eyeing him as if he was the worst human being in the entire world. Nobody had the right to hurt Kacchan, and Izuku was not about to let it slide. "It's between me and him!" He growls with the ferocity of an animal as he meets Todoroki's eyes dead on.

"Deku kun! You have to calm down!" Uraraka runs in front of him, her face etched with worry and her eyes wrecked with panic.

But Izuku is too preoccupied baring his sharp canines at Todoroki to care about his friend. His mind short circuits as if there were fireworks exploding in his head and Izuku screams, vitriolic words leaving his mouth superbly.

"He turned Kacchan down!" Izuku's hands begin to shake as he finally gets free of Kirishima's and Kaminari's vicious hold. He slightly moves Uraraka aside who was partly hindering his view of Todoroki, but Izuku remains in place this time. "Kacchan confessed to you and you just blew him off. How could you?" Izuku wheezes with a croak in his voice.

Suddenly a set of 6 pair of eyes are on Izuku followed by gasps of pure astonishment. Uraraka is the first one to give in into an exasperated sigh. "You can't be serious, Deku kun?" She says as she drags her hand through her hair. Eyes wide and disbelieving.

"Wow man! That's fucked up. How did you even come up with it?" Kaminari teases, arms crossed on his chest as he gives Midoriya a pointed look.

"So that's what it was, huh?" Kirishima grins, knowing exactly the root of the problem, but at the same time he processes that Bakugou's confession had probably failed again. "There's no way Bakugou is in love with Todoroki." Kirishima clarifies, brows bunching up together as he regards Midoriya with a sorrowful look.

"And even if he was violence is not the answer, Midoriya kun." Iida adds adamant, shaking his head in disapproval.

"Midoriya." Shouto calls to him. He had removed his hand from his face revealing a light bruise in his left cheek, but the annoyance in his voice and the sharp edges around the corners of his mouth were long gone now. "You've got it all wrong."

"Midoriya san." Momo interjects, eyes glinting with subtle irritation. "You should apologise."

Too many explanations, apologies and bows later, Izuku is still too ashamed and flustered to look Todoroki in the eye. The group had now retired into a private area of the café to avoid prying eyes. All that publicity was not good for pro heroes like them, but after all the ruckus Izuku had created he wouldn't be surprised if this affected their careers. Everything had happened because of his clouded and rushed judgment, Izuku was really too mortified and downright embarrassed to look at any of his friends right now. He had explained to them the entire situation, how Kacchan had told him he was in love with someone and how he stupidly got the wrong idea out of it. If he thought about it now Izuku could see how tremendously unlikely the conclusion he had come up with was. Still he wondered who was the person Kacchan was in love with, and the notion that he was in love with a man bothered Izuku more than he'd care to admit.

"I wonder who's Kacchan in love with." Izuku whispers with a sigh, oblivious of the incredulous stares his friends flicker his way.

Kirishima, however, seems unperturbed as he nonchalantly crosses his arms behind his head and opens his chatty mouth. "C'mon dude! Isn't it obvious that Bakugou is in love with y-"

Suddenly two fast but shaking hands clutch around Kirishima's mouth with urgency, and as Iida and Uraraka exchange looks of panic they prompt and plead Kirishima to shut the hell up through muted signals.

Izuku looks at them in mild confusion, eyes muddled but now clear of any ill intent unlike before.

"C-coffee." Uraraka says, face morphing into anxiety. "We couldn't get our dose of caffeine earlier, right Kirishima kun?" She winks at him in hope her friend would catch up, but Kirishima just mumbles in distaste through their sweaty palms.

"Y-yeah! Since you punched Todoroki kun we couldn't drink any." Iida says laughing dramatically, cold sweat prickling at the base of his neck as he attempts to back Uraraka up.

But Izuku doesn't take too well the reminder that he was the cause of the disruption of a fun, quiet evening that was supposed to be enjoyed drinking coffee before the conference.

"I-I'll g-go b-buy them." Izuku mumbles as he shots up in panic from his seat next to Todoroki. "It's my fault, so let me offer you those coffees."

"Midoriya! Just relax!" Todoroki says with a half smile. "You're obviously still on edge."

"B-but.." Izuku tries to protest but Uraraka and Iida are fast on their feet as they drag a very reluctant Kirishima along with them.

"Don't worry Deku kun! We'll be back in a sec." Uraraka says over her shoulder as a way of reassurance, relieved she had gotten them out of a catastrophe. She, as well as Iida, were going to have a word with Kirishima and teach him the art of tact and of minding his own business.

Defeated, Izuku sits back and lowers his gaze as he lets out a wistful sigh. What he didn't understand was why Kacchan had never told him anything, but more than that Izuku was frustrated at himself, frustrated at his own reaction. So what if Kacchan had been rejected? It was not like Kacchan needed his protection. Izuku knew he was not weak and could fend for himself, still his instincts towards his childhood friend had kicked in and Izuku hadn't been able to stop himself.

"I'm not surprised though." Todoroki's calm voice pulls Izuku out of his thoughts. Big green eyes look at him in confusion.

"At your reaction, I mean." Shouto says. Although the bruise on his face was still fresh he didn't wear that sour expression of aggravation he did earlier, and somehow his kindness made Izuku feel guiltier.

"I'm s-so sorry, Todoroki kun!" Izuku's face washes out as he reminisces his earlier foolish action. Jumbled words come out from his mouth in a stuttering mess. "I-I didn't mean it, I just lost my control and-"

"The question is why?" Todoroki interrupts with slight amusement on his face. A tinge of tease in his voice.

"Uh?" Izuku stops wailing as Todoroki's question dawns on him, his expression and facial muscles turn rigid. That was a question Izuku didn't have an answer to, or at least, he believed he didn't.

"It's okay, Midoriya san." Yaoyorozu intervenes without hesitation. She exudes a certain aura about her with which she's able to dissolve the weird atmosphere lingering in the room instantly. "As long as you know what you did was wrong." She says, jabbing a finger into Todoroki's ribs as a warning, inducing him to say no more.

"Still though," Kaminari says from his seat opposite them, "to think you thought Bakugou was in love with Todoroki is hilarious."

"T-that was an honest mistake." Izuku snivels, his face turning ominously red and his lips trembling with shame.

"Midoriya!" Shouto"s features soften as he brings one hand on top of Izuku's head to pat him in a reassuring way, to console him. "It's fine really. You don't need to feel so dejected." Those words were soothing to Izuku in a way he didn't think it was possible, and in the heat of the moment he closes his eyes letting Todoroki's fingers brush through his locks as Izuku inclines his chin on his neck and relaxes at the gentle touch.

"Steaming cups of coffee coming up, guys!" Izuku hears Uraraka say. However, when he slowly opens his eyes and turns towards Uraraka, Iida and Kirishima who stand in front of the table with cups of coffee on hand, Izuku's attention is stolen away from another sight. Eyes widening, he tenses immediately, causing Todoroki to stop patting him and follow the direction to which Izuku is looking. Although his hand remains put on top of Izuku's head, unmoving.

"K-Kacchan!?" Izuku says, the tone of his voice barely carries through the tiny space, but it's clear enough to make everyone look at the incriminating spot Izuku has his eyes fixed on.

Their jaws drop when they see a rather pissed and outraged Bakugou Katsuki with a face like the personification of the apocalypse itself.

When all the ruckus was happening earlier, Kirishima had, smartly, texted him to tell him what was going on, but like the hot headed shit Katsuki was, he hadn't even bothered to read the message properly. All he had seen were just the words 'fighting, shouting' and 'Midoriya and Todoroki's' names, which, in Katsuki's messed up mind, were too close to each other even though their names were only in a text. With his brain halting all of its gears, Katsuki had gushed out of his apartment in a jiffy. The thought of changing out of his baggy jeans and sweater to look presentable for the conference hadn't even crossed his mind as he had slipped on his parka and sprinted off as fast as he could.

Now he was there in front of Deku and Todoroki witnessing a display Katsuki wished he'd never see. Todoroki's hand on Izuku's head is like a car door slowly shutting on his soul, enough to make Katsuki lose his sense of control. A deep growl reverberates inside his chest like a distant explosion, his features tighten and his jaw clenches as his dire red eyes travel from the hand resting on Izuku's head to Todoroki's face. When their eyes lock together sharp as steel, Katsuki rocks forward, pushing his way between Kirishima, Uraraka and Iida, sending the fuming cups of coffee in their hands flying up in the air as the three of them swivel around and grumble at the harsh contact. Uncaring of his friends left behind, Katsuki grabs a dumbfounded Todoroki by the collar of his shirt with one hand, disregarding Izuku who looks at him in horror. He pulls Todoroki off of his chair and towards him from across the table, teeth bared. "Fucking son of a bitch." Katsuki bellows inches from Todoroki's face. His teeth snaps together in a silent snarl as his other hand lifts above him and quickly closes into a fist, hitting Todoroki at full force. It happens too fast for Shouto to try evading his fist, and for the second time that night the hot and cold pro hero is unable to avoid getting punched in the face as he finds himself toppling over his chair and on the floor again.

Even though the area they were in was partially secluded from the public, murmurs of distaste could still be heard through the cafeteria. Their friends watch in disbelief at the scene before them as Katsuki towers over an helpless Todoroki who covers the left side of his face in pain for the umpteenth time.

Tension fills the air like a sharp edge razor and nobody dares to make a move.

On the other end, Kaminari looks at them dejectedly and sighs loudly as he whispers to himself.

"I guess no coffee today, uh!?"


	5. Chapter 5

Katsuki knew he had fucked up the moment his friends looked at him as if he was possessed by something demonic, fiendish, but also with something he recognised as pity. And Katsuki hated to be pitied, especially by his friends. But what disturbed Katsuki the most was the way Deku looked at him. The way fear, confusion, panic and dread plastered on Deku's face turning the soft lineaments of his features sharp and stiff. Katsuki didn't like that look on his face. He made him painfully aware of his past self, the one which presented itself unannounced and mocked him relentlessly in spite of Katsuki's hard efforts to push it away. After all, the last time he had had one of his outbursts was back when he was a teenager, when he was young and inexperienced, not able to curb his anger and directing it to whatever or whomever tried to stand on his way. But Katsuki had learnt through the years to control his emotions, and he cherished the thought that he had changed, that he was not the same impulsive brat he was back in U.A. His carrier as a pro hero, together with Deku, had help him grow, shaping him into the adult he was now. Yet, all of it had turned to be ineffective as soon as Katsuki had seen someone else touch Deku. Katsuki knew he was literally contradicting himself. Deku had had his own past experiences with other people, Katsuki was utterly aware of that. And even though the stark thought of Deku having being touched and violated by someone else's hands had always sent Katsuki into a state of anger, he had always been able to channel it and rebuff it. But that was only because Katsuki had never experienced it first hand. Witnessing such exchange between Deku and Todoroki was altogether different, foreign and torturous. It made him flare with a feeling of overwhelming possession Katsuki didn't know he couldn't control. And the feeling of jealousy only rises when he sees a concerned, distraught Deku run to Todoroki's side to aid him.

"Are you alright, Todoroki kun?" Izuku says, panic evident in his small voice.

Shouto winces, squinting at Midoriya before glaring coldly towards, unfortunately, his second attacker.

"Pathetic." Shouto hisses, mouth slightly parted in a tight line, disdain flitting through his usually cool features as he boggles up on his feet with Midoriya's help.

When Todoroki speaks Katsuki's eyes are still trained on the hand Deku uses to help him out, but flicks to Todoroki's face instantly when he hears the insult.

"Haah?" Katsuki roars, feeling a bitter coil twisting deep in his gut. He was ready to slash out at him at any moment, and he would have done just that if Deku hadn't interposed himself between him and Todoroki.

"Stop it Kacchan!" Izuku has to wrench his voice out of his throat to manage to get Katsuki's attention back to him. It works briefly. Izuku sees those raging red eyes on him before they turn to Todoroki again.

"The fuck did you do to him?" Katsuki questions with a constrained roar of vexation behind his gritted teeth.

Izuku gasps. Green eyes large and angry. He flicks a glance at Todoroki behind him who gives him a look of reluctance, and Izuku swallows a bitter lump down his throat as his eyes meet Kacchan's again.

"Why did you hit him? Todoroki kun didn't do anything wrong."

"Anything wrong? You were fucking teary eyed, Deku!" Katsuki rolls his eyes in frustration as he yanks Deku by the shoulders and pulls him closer to himself. It was an act of instinctiveness, but Katsuki was glad he had put more distance between them. "H-his hand was on you, and you had this look on your face and-" Katsuki stops, brain racking in search of the right words as he heaves a sigh through his lash of serious mouth.

"That was not what it looked like Kacchan!" Eyes blown in sudden awareness, Izuku's hands wail fast and erratically in front of him. "Todoroki kun was comforting me. I punched him earlier because I thought he rejected you. But then he explained everything and... and I don't know what happened. I just felt so guilty for it, but then you came out of nowhere and punched him too and-"

Katsuki has to restrain a growl of surprise at Deku's endless and errating explanation. His brain coming to a halt when he hears him say he had punched Todoroki.

"You?" Katsuki blinks, eyes widening at the information as his hands on Deku's shoulders tighten, blood rushing fast towards his bony fingers. "You punched half an half?" Katsuki's voice is a delirium of wonder, his face a multicolour of molten astonishment. "Why?" The question spills from his mouth announced, and the coil in his gut acquiesces immediately, replaced by sizzling torpor.

Izuku freezes. Katsuki's hands on his shoulders are searing hotly through his flesh, and Izuku's brain swims in a vast ocean of infinitive possibilities of why he had done that. Izuku shakes his head, dragging a hand through his hair in defeat.

"I-" Izuku stops when he realises that what he wants to say is not easy to put into words.

He was shocked? Mortified? Jealous? Izuku's heart throbs, shrinking into a tiny sphere.

It was a feeling Izuku didn't want to acknowledge. A futile, scary feeling that he had always pushed down inside his consciousness, not giving it any chance of emerging. Because it was dangerous, risky, treacherous. A lifetime of friendship with Kacchan told him so.

"I was angry." Izuku says instead, his voice wrecked and his eyes wavering. "I saw you struggling, making a miserable face, and I just couldn't stand still and do nothing. I know I was wrong but I-"

"Deku." Katsuki doesn't know when his right hand leisurely moves from Deku's shoulder and up to his face. The contact is delicate, soft, but it's enough for Izuku to look upward instantly. And when he does, he's met with such fondness and calmness Izuku had never seen in Kacchan's face before.

"Kacchan!" Izuku breaths out throaty and low. He knows his face as well as his body are in flame, and the sensation of hot fire burning his skin expands when Kacchan's hand lingers oozy and light on his cheek, sending Izuku into a nameless bliss.

Katsuki bowls over. Sweltering heat courses through his trembling limbs as he sees Deku lean gently into his touch, face as red as his. He feels like his soul, together with Deku's, is catapulted into a world of their own. Of green forest lakes and pine trees. Peaceful and quite. A world made by him and Deku only.

In that span of time, Katsuki can sense his surroundings no longer. And all he can see is Deku's languid stare on him giving him a sense of beatitude and calm Katsuki wished it'd last forever. But then Katsuki's face scrunches in realisation, his awareness skyrockets as he's forcibly pulled out of his imaginary world and into the current, and suddenly he remembers that they aren't alone.

"This is obscenely ridiculous." Shouto taunts from behind them. Their moment cut short roughly.

Todoroki's voice pulls Izuku out of his stupor, and he immediately takes a step back, confused but aware of what had just happened, causing Katsuki's hand to quickly fall back at his side.

The atmosphere in the room plummets from tense straight down into the pits of utter embarrassment. Few people gathers around giving the group stupefied looks, some brave ones were even taking pictures of them recognising it was a scuffle between pro heroes, stopping only when Iida and Kirishima deem it adequate to intervene to scatter the nosy intruders.

"There's nothing to see here." Kirishima hollers standing before the crowd, toiling to block the view of the room from them.

"Midoriya kun! Bakugou kun! This is no place for having a conversation." Iida says, his voice reprimanding but his face a mask of concern. "If you guys want to talk you better do it somewhere more private."

"You need medical aid, Todoroki san!" Yaoyorozu runs to Todoroki's side for the umpteenth time, her face etched in utter worry.

"I'm fine." Shouto says, bravely enduring the pain as he stares at Bakugou pointedly. He was angry and disappointed, but he wanted to make it a priority to clarify the situation and maybe avoiding getting punched in the future because of another misunderstanding.

"I need to talk to you, Bakugou." Shouto says curtly. Katsuki meets his eyes dead on but says nothing, which is the cue for Shouto to continue. "In private." Shouto adds, demanding and sharp.

Still shaken by his previous dazzling daydreaming, Katsuki doesn't find it on him to come back with a witty remark, so his only reaction is to give a nod and a roll of his eyes.

"Let's go, Deku kun!" Uraraka walks up to Izuku, her hands poise on his shoulders softly and gingerly, noticing as Deku still looks dazzled. "It's better if you guys continue your conversation elsewhere, 'kay?" She says gently, to which Izuku agrees absentmindedly.

Izuku doesn't share another glance with Kacchan though. He was too conscious and aware of his own heartbeat. And It turns out to be the best choice, because Kacchan, too, avoids meeting his eyes.

"C'mon Bakugou." Kirishima's voice approaches from behind before Katsuki feels his hand prod him slightly on his arm. "We've done enough here. Lets go!" Kirishima says, tone hushed and careful.  
Katsuki can only follow in complete surrender.

When they all leave the room in utter silence, they also leave behind them an hoard of people's stares piercing straight through their backs.

Kaminari though, who's the last one in queue, is still disappointed for not being able to get his coffee.

Given the conference was bound to start in 20 minutes, they decide to go to the venue. Lucky for them, and especially for Todoroki, who was punched by both Bakugou and Midoriya in a short period of time, they meet Recovery Girl, who is still a pro hero-nurse at U.A and apparently also one of the committees in the conference.

After the initial greetings, the woman gives the group a suspicious look before her eyes land on Todoroki's cheek and gives him a look of mild confusion.

Without any explanation she leads the ex-U.A students to the infirmary which is situated in one of the upper floors isolated from the overcrowded, huge ground floor.

"You kids haven't changed at all!" Recovery Girl smiles fondly, reminiscing her old days with them at U.A. as she opens the door and lets the group in the room, signaling Todoroki to sit on the bed.

The room itself was spacious but plain, only two beds and a large medical cabinet next to a double glazed window.

"I hope you troublemakers haven't gotten yourselves into something shady." Recovery Girl says as she inspects Todoroki's injury, "But whatever this is... I'm sure you gonna get it all figured out." She briefly kisses Todoroki on his left cheek using her healing quirks. "There you go. It's still a bit swollen but at least the bruise has disappeared. You wouldn't want anyone to question how'd you get that, right?"

Shouto doesn't reply but bows his head in thanks. Glad the pain had subsided.

"We're so sorry!" Izuku speaks for everyone. Eyes to the floor in utter shame.

Recovery Girl pads towards him with a look of understanding, putting her hand on his shoulder in reassurance. "I'm sure you all are." She says with a gentle smile, flicking a quick look at the others too. "Try to not get into trouble again and come to the main hall when you're ready. All Might will be so happy to see you all."

"Yes ma'am!" They all answer in unison, except Katsuki who acknowledges her advice by giving a small grunt to signify his agreement.

With another genuine smile, Recovery Girl walks to the door, stopping in front of it before opening it. "If you guys ever need anything you know where to find me so do not hesitate to contact me." With that she leaves, finally letting the group to heave a sigh of relief.

"I'm surprised she didn't question us." Kirishima gawks, staring at the door from which she had just left.

"She's smarter than what we give her credit for." Iida opinions, pushing his specs up the bridge of his nose.

"That was nerve wracking." Kaminari interjects, palming the back of his neck. "Even more nerve wracking than not being able to have coffee." The piercing glares he receives from the group make Kaminari bite down on his tongue.

"We should get going if we don't want to be late." Yaoyorozu says, turning the attention away from Kaminari's stupid comment. She gives Todoroki another worrisome look. "Are you feeling alright now, Todoroki san?"

"Never better." Shouto says succinct. He looks at Bakugou sternly and the two engage in a stare lock, statue still, until Izuku breaks it with his mumbling.

"I-I r-really am sorry T-Todoroki kun. If there's anything I can do f-for you. I-"

"There is." Todoroki's reply is instant, and he doesn't miss the way Bakugou's entire frame twitch with his answer. The way his eyes turn into slits with the most murderous intent. After all, who would want their loved ones to be doing things for someone else. Shouto smiles to himself, his features relaxing as he turns to Midoriya again. "If you all could leave me and Bakugou alone I'd appreciate that." From the corner of his eyes Shouto sees how Bakugou relaxes with his explanation. "I need to talk to him." Shouto says with seriousness in his voice.

"You guys aren't thinking of fighting again, right?" Izuku reacts immediately, the prospect of them getting into another fight assaulting his nerves. "You heard what recovery Girl said!"

"Deku." Izuku's panicking gets stopped by Katsuki's hand resting gently on his shoulder. He utters his name softly and Izuku melts under the touch as he meets his tender eyes once again.

"We won't fight. I promise." Katsuki says with a truthful, frank expression.

He rethinks about the raptured moment of ecstasy in which he and Deku were engulfed in earlier. When a simple touch had sent both of them astray with bliss. Although Katsuki didn't know if Deku had experienced the same feeling as he did, he liked to believe that, even if only for a moment, there was a connection. Deeper than friendship.

"I just wanna talk to him, Midoriya." Shouto intrudes in their moment yet again, voice steady but sincere. "As Bakugou said... we won't fight."

Izuku stills for a moment, pondering. Anxiety souring his skin like citric acid. "Ok," he says as he wills his muscles to relax before looking at Katsuki with a look of utter trust. "I believe you."

Katsuki's shoulders sag in relief, oxygen filling his lungs again. "I'll meet you in the hall, Deku!" The soft tone in Katsuki's voice is enough to make Izuku's heart glitter with rainbow colours.

The others prepare to leave the room without further ado.

Defeated, Izuku follows them suit, stumbling to the door as well. He gives a look of consent to Todoroki and one last meaningful look to Kacchan before the door closes shut behind him.

As soon as Izuku's steps fade down the corridor, silence spans in the room heavy and thick, like an iceberg ready to shatter.

"So," Todoroki's voice cuts first through the silence sharp as a knife, making Katsuki's already tensed limbs vibrating with booming agitation. Uncertainty clutching at him like a vicious claw.

"There's something you've been dying to ask me. Isn't there?" Todoroki's question catches Katsuki's off guard, his skin prickles uncomfortably and his hands grow sweaty at whatever hidden meaning Todoroki's words have. But Katsuki stands his ground, holding his head up high in an attempt to look stable in front of him.

"Want me to be a fucking fortune teller or something?" Katsuki quips with low, quiet menace. His smile like a scythe.

Shouto's glare lingers, perusing Bakugou's face as in search of minimal changes, and when he finds none, Shouto lets his staring fall away with a frustrating sigh.

"Ashido." Shouto says dully as he watches Bakugou's features morph into more confusion.

"Racoon eyes?" Katsuki says with snap wonder, a perfectly poised brow raised. "The fuck does she have to do with anything?" He asks, remembering that it was only a couple of hours since he last saw her. Surely Ashido hadn't got into some mess in a bat of one eye, unless she had Katsuki's luck. Although knowing her volcanic personality it wouldn't have been entirely impossible. "Isn't she supposed to be here?"

"I'm sure she is." Shouto briefly jams his eyes shut as he stands up and walks himself away from the bed and closer to Bakugou. "That's not what I meant."

Katsuki's patience grows unbearably thin.

"The fuck did you mean then? I'm not a fucking oracle." Katsuki says with barely contained indignation.

"Ashido happened to send me a text today," Shouto says as if his words were supposed to give Katsuki any clue about what that was about. "And if that can help she was really apologetic."

Katsuki had forgotten that Ashido and Todoroki worked for the same agency, still he had no idea what Todoroki was talking about or why Ashido had to be sorry for anything.

If Shouto didn't know better that subtle hints never got through Bakugou's unimaginable thick skull after 10 years of being acquainted with him he'd be fooling himself.

"Back then I trusted Ashido and Kirishima." Shouto says curtly and quickly. "I made them promise not to say anything to anyone and I guess they kept the promise until today happened." Shouto's hand flicks upward, pointing at the faded bruise on his face to underline the meaning of his words. "They were the only ones who knew I had a crush on Midoriya back then."

As if hit by a bullet, Katsuki's brain relapses before becoming fully cognizant. His vision darkens, feeling although he's looking through a dark black shaded glass, wintry and colourless. Even though Kirishima and Ashido had told him about it, hearing that confession from Todoroki himself was like a square punch in the gut. Katsuki felt like he wanted to puke, like the tremor in his body would have quieted down once he hit Todoroki again and again but he chooses not to. He lets himself calm down instead, inhaling deeply through his flared nostrils when he sees Todoroki regarding him with the most infuriatingly impassive face Katsuki has ever seen. It almost made him want to change his mind and punch Todoroki again. He hated that expression that couldn't be analysed even through a microscope.

"Isn't that why you hit me?" Shouto rasps out cutting Katsuki's intentions right in the middle. "Really when it comes to Midoriya you're so easy to read. Do you realise that this happened 9 years ago, right?"

Katsuki's flames of umbrage flourish.

What did time had to do with anything? Katsuki had been desperately and pathetically in love with Deku for 10 years. And if Todoroki was still in love with him, he couldn't blame him. Could he?

"Are you..." Katsuki hesitates, unsure, grimacing at himself when the question leaves his lips unannounced, "Do you still have a-"

"A crush on Midoriya?" Shouto finishes his sentence, reading Bakugou like an open book. His lips quirk upwards in haughtiness at the question. "Unlike other people I'm not pathetic enough to pine for someone for that long."

Katsuki's nerves relent with the answer but nonetheless he bares his teeth at the implication, he chocks back the insults, however.

"The fuck why you didn't try confessing to him again then?" Katsuki asks tentatively and careful of what his question or even the answer to it could elicit.

Shouto's lips purse tight together, his eyes dropping to the floor fleetingly before he finds Bakugou's gaze again. "I knew you were dying to ask me this." He says humourless and detached.

"When Midoriya didn't get it the first time I thought I tried again... so I went with him shopping that day." Shouto revives the moment like it's still vivid in his mind, fragments of imprinted memories in his head. "And I wanted to... you know... tell him... I liked him, but then something happened and kept my feelings for myself." His eyes glaze over as he speaks, thin glass. "Do you know why I didn't tell him, Bakugou?"

Katsuki swallows hard, nausea clamping and kneading in his guts as he waits for Todoroki's next words.

"I felt so utterly pathetic that day." Shouto says, expression stony, molten ash. Ant it further fuels Shouto's indignation that at the time he hadn't realized it.

"While I was choosing outfits for myself, whenever I asked Midoriya for an advice on what to choose all he thought about was how this and that would fit you. In that moment I realized how stupid I was because Midoriya had always had eyes only for you, Bakugou!"

Shouto's glare is intense, steady. A look that has Katsuki reeling, his brain suddenly awakening with Todoroki's discerned words.

"That means shit." Katsuki manages to yank his voice out of his throat with a cranky rasp. His expression hard rock. "The nerd had always bought me and the others stupid gifts throughout the years and-"

"You don't see it, do you?" Shouto cuts him short, his eyes sharp, his tone heavy. "Don't you see what you're doing to Midoriya?"

"Ain't doing shit to him." Katsuki's expression drops to something Shouto can't decipher, his voice sounds faint and imperceptible to his own ears. "This is not what you think of... Deku wouldn't... He isnt-" Broken syllables gargle out from Katsuki's mouth as his veneer of resolution crack with Todoroki's avowal. He had known Todoroki since high school and he knew that the man usually spoke the truth without preambles or any gain of sort. But what Katsuki was supposed to think after all this time? After lacerating his brain thinking about if Deku felt the same? Katsuki had no idea what to do. With Deku. With himself.

"You're welcome to waste other 10 years, Bakugou." Shouto says exasperated, already tired of this bullshit. "But I would appreciate it if you didn't involve me anymore in your pathetic love affairs. I just wanted to make this clear." With a wave of dismissal Shouto walks past him and to the door, stopping in front of it and turning to Bakugou again. "Also, since I know you're physically incapable of saying sorry to me I'll let you off the hook by offering you the chance of buying me a three months coupon worth of free soba noodle."

"Haah?" Even in his state of stupefaction, Katsuki finds his voice to retort but Shouto doesn't give him a chance to continue the tirade. "Is either that or I'll tell Midoriya."

Katsuki's mouth falls shut with the threat, eyes bulging. "You wouldn't."

"Try me." Shouto challenges.

"Fucking fine!" Katsuki lets out a growl of acceptance, acquiescing to Shouto's petty request. He couldn't risk having someone else telling Deku how he felt. Especially not now. Not when Katsuki's feelings splayed across an icy lake made of brittle ice.

Shouto only hums in delight as he exits the room, satisfied with the way their conversation had turned.

"Midoriya punched me because of you, Bakugou. Do your math." Shouto gives him another meaningful look before shutting the door behind him.

Katsuki is left there alone with a whole new level of enlightenment and understanding. And if Todoroki's words were truthful, if they had no other interpretation but Todoroki's own, then Deku... Deku was...

Moments later, with his mind made of foggy clouds but with a new resolution in his heart, Katsuki finds himself strolling in the huge corridor connected to the main hall. He passes through several corinthian stile arches which sustained a well lit ceiling with fancy vintage chandeliers.

The white pearl and elephantine walls were decorated with paintings and portraits of very well known heroes. Katsuki wasn't baffled to recognise most of the heroes in the paintings. There were also various pictures of him and his ex-classmates depicting them in their hero costumes, but Katsuki's attention is stolen away from Deku's figure looming over one of Katsuki's own paintings in the distance.

With feline steps, heart in his throat, Katsuki approaches quiet and quick, halting just beside him.

He sees Deku standing still with his hand softly poised over the canvas, a calloused thumb feeling the texture of the painting.

When Katsuki stands next to him, although Izuku is aware of his presence, he doesn't turn around to greet him.

"This painting doesn't make you justice, Kacchan!" Izuku says, eyes still intent on Katsuki's painting depicted in his hero costume. His voice is coated with an eerie, abstruse murmur, almost like a secret whisper.

Katsuki's pupils enlarge as he stares in awe at Deku's honest, sober profile. His words makes Katsuki's every bone radiates with harmonious release, and the corners of his mouth curl instinctively against the bubbly sensation in his chest.

"They don't know how amazing you are!" Izuku speaks again, his voice drawn and esoteric.

The tone of admiration in his voice gives Katsuki a sense of extreme inebriation, drenching his bones in the wake of its force.

"You sentimental all of a sudden, Deku?" Katsuki mocks him, an attempt to mask the disarray of emotions disembowelling his own sanity.

"It's the truth!" Almost outraged by Katsuki's words, Izuku turns around and stares at him with the most honest expression and gentle smile Katsuki ever deserved.

Floored, heartbeat plunging in his eardrums, Katsuki's eyes flick away briefly before setting on Deku again.

"Why are you here, anyway?" Katsuki asks, his voice hushed but content.

"Todoroki kun told me you were on your way so I decided to wait for you. Everyone's already inside." Izuku answers easily, darting a glance behind him at the massive ebony closed door. "Kacchan?" Izuku's eyes narrow with significant seriousness, his cheeks incense with a faded red. "What did you talk about with Todoroki kun?"

Although the question holds an unconfutable meaning, a chance for Katsuki to finally explain himself, he can't help the nervousness kneading in his guts, the edginess seizing his mind. But Katsuki was not about to let those bleak, obstructive emotions hinder him any longer.

Because it was not about him being hurt by a rejection, of him being heartbroken, and it wasn't about their friendship either. It was just because Katsuki didn't want to lie anymore. Deku deserved to know the whole truth. And even if that meant he had to sacrifice himself, for once, Katsuki could well damned swallow his fears and his stupid ego.

"Todoroki kun wouldn't tell me anything about it so that's why I'm here and-"

"I, shit... Deku, this is..." Katsuki's heart crushes beneath the weight of his lies, his deep guttural voice springs up from somewhere down his throat. With his hand pressed hard against his face, Katsuki groans, carding his fingers through his blonde spiky hair before letting his hand fall back down again. "I know that what I'm gonna say to you might sound pretentious and egotistical but..." Katsuki pauses, taking another long breath, nerves attempting to destroy the articulation in his voice. "Would you listen to me?"

Eyes large and heart jamming loudly in his eardrums, Izuku's voice comes out in a low, mellifluous murmur, a soft line of semi muted notes.

"I'm here Kacchan..., always been..., always listened."

"There's really something I need to tell you." Katsuki says with urgency, his eyes almost imploring.

Izuku's eyes waver, hands nervously clutching together on the hem of his suit jacket. His words are measured, careful when he speaks.

"If it's about the person you love... you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, Kacchan. I understand. I mean, I don't really... but if it makes you feel uncomfortable then..." Izuku fumbles with his declaration, but the words are spoken from the bottom of his heart.

Something forged from pure and sheer essence of fire meanders through Katsuki's veins, his gaze instantly travelling from Izuku's face to where his hands clasp tightly on his jacket. And instinctively, Katsuki's hands move with a fast response, taking Izuku's hands on his own.

"Please, Deku! Just listen to me!" Katsuki says low and soft, his voice is like a sweet melody crashing into Izuku's soul with the force of a cyclone.

"K-Kacchan! W-what's wrong?"

Izuku's skin prickles at the contact, hot burns of fire, Kacchan-shaped. Kacchan who rarely said please. Kacchan who had showed him very rare expressions in the lapse of a few hours.

"Deku!" Katsuki whispers, his whole body pulsating at the notion of the imminent truth about to be spilled from his heart. Finally freed and unclouded from his mind, from his mouth, from his lips. Liberated from his everything after 10 long years of pining.

"The truth is that I-"

"Midoriya?"

Dawning horror shakes Katsuki's mind entirely upon recognising that high-pitched, spiteful voice. All of his bones start aching beneath his flesh as Katsuki turns around and he's met with a pair of hateful, dark brown eyes belonging to a person Katsuki hoped he'd never see again in his life.

It happens like a dramatic scene film in slow motion, and it all shreds Katsuki's balance and rationality slowly and painfully.

Shindou fucking You. That hypocritical, conniving two faced bastard and unforgiving asshole. Nonetheless Deku's ex boyfriend. A fact Katsuki had never accepted and would rather forget.

"Is that you?" The astounded tone in Shindou's voice makes Katsuki silently snarl at him on instinct, but Izuku's face says otherwise.

Katsuki watches as Deku's features twist in dismay, as he is overwhelmed by motley trepidation. He can feel Deku's hands begin to shake under his hold before Deku dismantle them free from his in a swift, shambolic move that perforates Katsuki's heart with arrant disappointment.

"S-Shindou kun?" Izuku's sandpaper voice barely manages to get out of his dry throat, his tongue darting up quick in undoubted apprehension.

"I've missed you!" Shindou says, his lullaby like voice cutting through the still air, making the hair in Katsuki's arms stand on end in disgust before he sees Shindou marching over to Deku, unceremoniously pushing Katsuki aside and taking those hands that were previously wrapped in Katsuki's in his.

"How have you been? It's been a while." Shindou flashes Izuku a toothy smile that Katsuki wished he could have punched off of his fucking face.

Completely floored, Izuku can only blink, palpitations invading his body with a feeling of anxiety mixed with excitement. "Indeed it has," Izuku says low and quite after regaining some of his composure. "It's good to see you, Shindou kun!"

"You haven't changed at all." Shindou's smile is all teeth, dangerous and inviting.

"Uh," Izuku flicks his eyes aside in recollection, remembering that the last time he had seen Shindou was 3 months ago right after their break up. A time Izuku was not particularly fond of reminiscing. And in 3 months many things had happened to him. "I have... actually." Izuku murmurs sheepish as his eyes sink on their entwined hands and his face dusts with a slight pink colour.

"Oi." Katsuki grumbles, interrupting their idyllic exchange. Wave of displeasure inundate Katsuki's body at the sight before him.

"Oh if it isn't Bakugou! Didn't notice you there." Shindou regards Bakugou with one of his trademark smirks. His venomous, sarcastic tone makes Katsuki's vessel of calmness break with a crack.

"Must be because you ain't rolled your eyes enough. Could well damn find your eyesight and your brain if you try again." Katsuki says acrimoniously, spitting sarcasm back straight at Shindou's face.

"You ain't changed at all, I see." Shindou scorns, releasing Izuku's hands and facing Bakugou head on.

Appalled by their not so courteous exchange, Izuku's brain rises into high alert at the sight of his best friend and his ex-boyfriend staring each other down with intents that were far off from friendly.

"G-guys! I don't really think this is the right place to be having an argument." Izuku reasons, already exhausted with the previous shenanigans.

"Fuck You!" Katsuki hollers inches from Shindou's face, completely disregarding Deku's attempt at peace. His teeth are bared, and his fist hitch to hit that face.

"Seems like not even your fool language has improved." Shindou jeers at him utterly unaffected.

"It's a special language. Only for you."

Katsuki spits, grinding down on his molars in splenetic choler when he sees the asshole looking him up and down.

"Nice outfit by the way." Shindou says with mordant, pungent humour. "Are you trying to distinguish yourself from the other extras who are wearing fancy tuxedos? Because this is what you call us, right? Extras."

Katsuki's gaze briefly falls on his ragged jeans and t-shirt, and then back to Shindou's fancy white and blue suit. Those were his daily clothes after a long shift at work spent patrolling, those same clothes he hadn't bothered to change when he had ran to Deku after receiving Kirishima's text.

Shindou was teasing him for it, but Katsuki knew his crabbed words were intended to hit him straight in his pride with an underlined meaning different from the intended.

"You're a special extra if that can make you feel any better." Katsuki's words are bitter and hostile, matching on par with Shindou's. "The first I would blast out of my fucking way."

Shindou's facial features fall into dark, eyebrows lowering together in an unamused expression.

"Well, coming from you that wouldn't be surprising at all," Shindou continues sardonic, pretending to ignore Bakugou's insult. "Are you trying to steal the spotlight from All Might and monopolise everyone's attention?  
Shindou pauses, licking his bottom lip before his malignant words leave his mouth with a lascivious smirk. "Just like back in U.A."

With flames of wrath behind his eyes, Katsuki stalls in frustration at Shindou's trenchant, caustic words exposing his past self. The man's unabated, virulent speech is unforgiving. It hits Katsuki like a punch straight to the stomach, and Katsuki feels like his voice is stuck in his gullet as the bastard carries on with his teasing.

"You were a sight back then. Throwing a tantrum during the sport festival just because of your self-proclaimed undeserved victory. I wonder just how big your high-rise ego gimmick is if you thought-"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Izuku retorts before Katsuki has a chance to, his eyes rigid and stony, his face a tribulation. "You have said too much, Shindou kun."

Shindou falters with Midoriya's reprimanding tone and he acquiesces immediately.

"Ah right right!" Shindou purrs as he wraps an arm around Midoriya and turns the tables in his favour again with another devious smirk of his. Anger still boiling, Izuku gapes at the gesture.

"I admit I went a little overboard there, Bakugou. I apologise for that." Shindou says, his tone remote from being apologetic.

"C'mon Midoriya, let's go! The conference has already started. We wouldn't want to miss it, right?" Shindou's feline eyes pierce Bakugou like smothering fire, invisible darts shoot between them.

Still incapable of wrenching out a sound, Katsuki can only stare in agony as Shindou drags a very reluctant Midoriya together with him.

"W-wait!" Izuku's wails turning to Kacchan as he's being shoved through the door by Shindou's strong arms.

The door clicks shut behind them soon after, and Katsuki is left there alone staring at it hollowly.

Taken by a surging feeling of consternation and disquietude, Katsuki backtracks.

Perhaps if he had taken notice of Deku's pleading eyes before disappearing behind the door with Shindou, if Shindou hadn't blown Katsuki's insecurities open again, perhaps, he would have followed through that door.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Katsuki convinces himself that his attire, just as Shindou had mockingly made him notice, was not appropriate for attending the conference. On a level, Katsuki knew that it was only an excuse to mask a much bigger truth.

"Coward." Katsuki says to himself, hands in his pockets and head down as he turns around and towards the exit.

"I'm a coward." Katsuki repeats through gritted teeth, a dreadful sensation twirling in his stomach as he thinks of Deku and Shindou together. As he finds himself unable to do anything.

Todoroki was right, after all.

He was utterly and extremely pathetic.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary:**

Shindou wants to make things right with Izuku again, and Izuku wants to make things right too, but in his own way.

**Notes:**

Sorry, this is a short chapter and mostly a flashback but I hope you enjoy reading it anyway. It explains things. It's not the best so if anything is unclear just ask :)

Izuku's obliviousness just hurt the people around him.

**Chapter 6**

"Midoriya!"

Izuku looked up from where he was intent on spying on the enemies base. His hand pressed against the transceiver set on his left side of his hero costume, just in case he had to report anything suspicious or, if necessary, call for backup, his other hand slowly lowering his binoculars from his face and on his chest as he briefly met Shindou's unreadable expression.

They both had been assigned to the same mission, the first ever they were in together, since Izuku worked in the same agency with Kacchan and was always paired with him. But this time the higher ups had decided to separate the Wonder Duo to assess how the top two heroes handled life threatening missions on their own.

Izuku had complied, willing to push himself further, eager to measure up to Kacchan on a higher level even if it meant to work separately. Kacchan had accepted the request for his other mission after all, and Izuku wasn't one to back up from a challenge. He knew it was a challenge from the way Kacchan had looked at him, from the way that shit eating grin of his had spread across his face and fuelled Izuku's excitement for the new upcoming mission.  
But Izuku had no idea of what to expect from being paired up with Shindou, after all.

Izuku pursed his lips, not bothering to turn toward Shindou, his anxious, green eyes wandered over to the two villains below them, his entire body in alert before hearing Shindou speak again.

"Go out with me." Shindou said straight forward, no trace of hesitation in his voice. He was crouched beside Izuku, his dark brown eyes honing in on him as if Izuku was a delicious prey.

Izuku's head whipped around toward Shindou fast, his pupils dilating in astonishment as his mouth worked soundlessly trying to look for word but found none. Shindou stood in front of him motionless, his lips quirked into a cheeky smile.

"Let's make a bet." Taking advantage of Izuku's confusion, Shindou continued unabashed, gaze flickering towards the villains before looking back at Izuku with a glint in his eyes, the spark of a challenge.

"If I take those two out on my own," Shindou said, his smile turning into a cocky smirk, "You go out with me."

Wide eyed, and mouth still working like a fish out of water, Izuku couldn't get out a sound before seeing Shindou leaving his undercover spot, balancing himself on the parapet with one hand and leaping above the wall in a fast, shrewd motion.

Shindou's feet landed on the ground below with crashing brawn, followed by his hands releasing his vibrating quirk and reducing the pavement in shambles as the two villains found themselves helpless and knocked out instantly in front of that abrasive, barbaric destruction.

Watching in total astonishment, Izuku shivered at the tiny pieces unearthed from the ground and scattering in the air in different directions. Cold chills of petrified terror broke on his skin as he thought about the different outcome Shindou's action would've had culminated into if the villains were not taken out with just one attack. Izuku balked upon Shindou giving him the victory sign as if he hadn't just threw himself into a perilous situation with not so much as a detailed plan.

"That was dangerous and irresponsible!" Izuku bellowed, his face moulded in deep concern, heart racing as he hopped and jumped down on shaky legs.

Shindou only looked at him with a victorious smirk, hands on his hips as he floundered forward and looked at Izuku with those flirty, provocative eyes of his.

"I win!" Shindou said with an alluring wink, his tone the embodiment of extreme boldness and confidence, "Now you gotta go out with me."

Their relationship had started just like that, as a bet. Izuku had never really gave a positive or negative response to Shindou's surprising proposal. As the oblivious nerd he was, Izuku had never got any hint about Shindou being into him. Nonetheless, he had found himself attracted to his net, catapulted into his world without Izuku's realisation. Being with Shindou was fun, the dates, the presents, Shindou's sparkling personality, nothing was missing, everything was in place. Shindou was the perfect boyfriend and Izuku was happy, or at least he thought he was.

"Hey!" Shindou said, sprawled in Izuku's bed, idly reading a hero magazine. It was a Saturday evening and the two of them had decided to have a night in because Izuku had a very important presentation he had to finish before Monday rolled around.

"There's this place I want to bring you tomorrow."

Izuku looked over his shoulder from where he was sitting on his desk, momentarily tearing his gaze away from his laptop screen.

"Sorry, Shindou kun," Izuku said with a sigh, his tone contrite and apologetic. "I can't tomorrow, I already promised Kacchan I'd see him this Sunday."

Shindou's back went ram rod straight as he shot up from the bed with effervescent anger. Midoriya words cracking below his skin with bilious attack.

"I'm your boyfriend!" Shindou said, words cutting and spiny, his eyes pinpricks of fire, "Who's more important me or your childhood friend!?" Immediately, Shindou bit on his lower lip, realizing just how lame his question was, but almost six months into their relationship and this was not the first time that Midoriya had come up with that ridiculous excuse. He had seen it happening more often than not, and seeing Midoriya refusing a date with him to favour Bakugou was something that didn't sit well with him. Not anymore, and this was the last straw Shindou could take in.

Izuku swiveled around on his chair, meeting Shindou's outraged expression with discomfited eyes.

"Please don't," Izuku murmured, hands gripping with too much force on the fabric of his jeans, "don't make me choose between you and Kacchan. You said it, Kacchan is my childhood friend and also my best friend and if you can't-" Izuku paused, inhaling deeply before giving Shindou the most sorrowful expression Shindou had ever seen since they had started dating.

"I'm sorry!" Izuku said, his eyes firm and unwavering.

"This ain't gonna work, Midoriya!" Shindou hissed through clenched teeth, a cantankerous anger surging deep within his body, "Maybe call me when you fix that childhood friend obsession of yours." Shindou said curtly as he collected his jacket on the hook by the door and left without another word.

Izuku dropped his hands to his sides, wide eyed and bewildered at his venomous words, not expecting to receive such reaction from Shindou, or maybe some hidden part of his subconscious did, that oblivious part of him that surfaced without Izuku's awareness and pushed his inner self to act differently each and every time Kacchan came into play.

Shindou hadn't called him back after their argument, and Izuku had let things end just like that, feeling remorseful and guilty whenever relief for the end of their relationship pooled through him.

...

"Midoriya!" A warm hand poised on Izuku's own brings Izuku back to the present, his unpleasant memory crumbling as he looks down and then up to meet Shindou's gentle and worried expression.

The conference had already finished, people had started to leave their seats but Izuku's mind had been too busy to take notice of it.

"I should have never let you go" Shindou says regretful, his hand on Izuku's tightens, and Izuku guzzles down his saliva with a gulp as he is pierced with lustful, wanting brown eyes.

"There are so many things I want to tell you." Shindou's voice is unusually dry, there's something in the way Shindou looks at him that makes Izuku's senses alter, his chest growing hot with nervousness and jitteriness.

"Come with me tonight." Shindou whispers with a sweet and resolute tone, his hands are fast on Izuku's shoulders and pulling him towards him with vibrant force. "I want to make it right this time."

There are only two words that leaves Izuku's lips as he gives Shindou a woeful, dismal look full of sorrow. The one he had gave him in the past, three months ago after their break up.

"I'm sorry." Izuku says, eyes firm and unwavering just like that night.

Shindou was right, and Izuku wanted to make things right too in his own way.


End file.
